Most of the world is under different stages of working from home due to coronavirus. While Asian countries like China, Indonesia and South Korea are undergoing different phases of reopening after months of lockdown, Malaysia’s work from home “suggestions” from their government during COVID-19 has sparked some controversy.
Back in March, Malaysia was placed under a Movement Control Order (MCO), as a way to control coronavirus. Since people who could work were able to do so from home, the Ministry for Women, Family, and Community Development posted some posters on Facebook and Instagram with “suggestions” for women to make themselves presentable by wearing makeup when working from home. In addition, they were asked not to “nag” their husbands about housework or childcare since they would be coming home tired from working to provide for their family.
For most women, the idea to entertain this idea of putting on makeup and not “nag” their husbands about household chores is ludicrous. It is another way of undermining the status of women in the business world as well as in their home. Isn’t it bad enough that men and women have to go through this pandemic without having to cater to the “suggestions” of the government?
How are these ideas helpful? If anything, these suggestions are offensive and stereotyping the role of women. What’s worse is that the person in charge of the Ministry for Women, Family and Community Development, Rina Harun, didn’t think this would be an issue. While the suggestions have since been retracted, it still created negative feedback.
Women activism groups took the government’s handling of this to task. They demanded that the posters be taken down or modified. Harun maintained that the posters were aimed at giving positive pointers during the pandemic, but were they? To me, these posters added to the stress of navigating through these unprecedented events and may have even affected their home life negatively.
Was the Ministry for Women, Family and Community Development well-intentioned by creating these posters? They may have thought so, but in my opinion, it backfired. While I don’t claim to know how foreign governments are run, the way the Malaysian government has been treating women during this time is discriminatory and uncalled for. I don’t think that women alone should have to shoulder the responsibilities of working as well as maintaining the home if they have partners. In my opinion, the ideas put forth by the Malaysian ministry stem from patriarchal ideals, and that’s what needs to be addressed if both men and women are to live in close quarters during this pandemic.
Tes Silverman was born in Manila, Philippines and has been a New Yorker for over 30 years. Moving from the Philippines to New York opened the doors to the possibility of a life of writing and travel. Before starting a family, she traveled to Iceland, Portugal, Belgium, and France, all the while writing about the people she met through her adventures. After starting a family, she became a freelance writer for publications such as Newsday’s Parents & Children and various local newspapers. Fifteen years ago, she created her blog, The Pinay Perspective. PinayPerspective.com is designed to provide women of all ages and nationalities the space to discuss the similarities and differences on how we view life and the world around us. As a result of her blog, she has written for BlogHer.com and has been invited to attend and blog about the Social Good Summit and Mom+Social Good. In addition, she is a World Voice Editor for World Moms Network and was Managing Editor for a local grass roots activism group, ATLI(Action Together Long Island). Currently residing in Virginia Beach, VA with her husband, fourteen year-old Morkie and a three year old Lab Mix, she continues to write stories of women and children who make an impact in their communities and provide them a place to vocalize their passions.
Every person I know values their privacy, but what happens when you find out that your privacy has been invaded, or worse, been subject to scrutiny without your knowledge?
Women in South Korea are currently fighting for their right to privacy, especially when it involves spy cams in public bathrooms. The installation of these microcameras have been a huge problem for women who view these as a gross invasion of their privacy. Privacy in Korea is seen as an illusion since it is seen as a way of protecting their citizens from any crimes, but for Chung Soo-young, this was not okay.
Soo-young was a victim of being spied on in a
public bathroom of a chain coffee shops last winter and decided to fight back
by creating an “emergency kit” through a crowdfunding project to protect
against “molka” or hidden cameras. This kit includes an ice pick to break tiny
camera lenses, stickers with messages warning of illegal filming, and a tube of
silicone sealant to fill up holes and stickers to cover them. Soo-young had no
idea that her kit would become such a hit, and inspire women to fight for their
right to privacy. Since its inception, 600 women have bought the kits which
costs $12 and do their part in preventing illegal filming of them.
Women in South Korea have been fighting to
keep their privacy intact, but it’s difficult when the laws exerted by the
government to protect them are not enough to stop the rampant sharing of these
molka videos by men. What’s worse is that these men then “share” these videos
online as pornography and the women they target never know about it, unless
they discover them by accident. These videos have become a new category of
pornography, whereby the subjects have no knowledge of their involvement. Even
the punishment of those caught is quite lenient and can be perceived as being
favorable towards men. Spy cams have given license to digital peeping Toms, at
the expense of women’s safety.
Punishment for illegal filming has also
spurred women to fight the gender bias surrounding them. For the men who have
been arrested for these crimes, their punishment has been less stringent than
what should fit the crime. Of the men who were caught, only 31.5 percent of
them were prosecuted and 8.7 percent received jail sentences. To highlight the
gender bias, when a woman was caught sharing a nude photo of a male model, she
was sentenced to serve a 10-month jail term, which in my opinion was unfair in
comparison to sharing pornography. According to a report by the World Economic
Forum’s 2017 Gender Gap Report, Korea ranks 118th out of 144 with regards to
how women are viewed and treated and it hasn’t gotten better in light of the
current crimes against them.
In light of the #MeToo movement, one would
think that women who speak out against their attackers would have the courts on
their side, but unfortunately not. A recent case involving a former governor of
South ChungCheong and his secretary shed light to the gender bias women in
South Korea still face. When Kim Ji-eun brought up charges of sexual abuse from
her former boss, Ahn Hee-jung, instead of being jailed for his crimes, was
acquitted from rape and sexual harassment. Hee-jung resigned from his post, but
not before claiming that the relationship was consensual. For Kim, the ruling
was not unexpected and solidified the gender bias towards women.
Women are fighting back by holding protests,
as in the one this past August in Seoul, when about 70,000 women called upon
their government for tougher laws against sexual violence and hidden-camera
pornography. While the government responded by doing regular sweeps in public
bathrooms and providing support systems for the victims, these women believe
that more has to be done.
For someone who lives in the U.S., I have been
in clothing store dressing rooms where notices are posted to let you know that
you are under camera surveillance while you try on clothes to prevent you from
shoplifting. There are 13 states that prohibit dressing
room surveillance: Alabama, Arkansas,
California, Delaware, Georgia, Hawaii, Kansas, Maine, Michigan, Minnesota, New
Hampshire, South Dakota and Utah. While I understand their
policy, I do feel uncomfortable knowing that I’m being watched as I try on
clothes in a public setting. The discovery of being videotaped without one’s
knowledge could result in deep-rooted distrust of the authority who are
supposed to protect them, and affect their outlook on how society treats them.
This is what’s happening in South Korea, and while so many women are fighting
back, I fear that they have a long road ahead until their government takes the
matter of sexual violence and hidden-camera pornorgraphy seriously and create
laws to punish criminals regardless of their gender. Here’s hoping that they
continue to protest and hold their government accountable for the crimes
perpetrated against them.
To read the article regarding this post, click
below:
Tes Silverman was born in Manila, Philippines and has been a New Yorker for over 30 years. Moving from the Philippines to New York opened the doors to the possibility of a life of writing and travel. Before starting a family, she traveled to Iceland, Portugal, Belgium, and France, all the while writing about the people she met through her adventures. After starting a family, she became a freelance writer for publications such as Newsday’s Parents & Children and various local newspapers. Fifteen years ago, she created her blog, The Pinay Perspective. PinayPerspective.com is designed to provide women of all ages and nationalities the space to discuss the similarities and differences on how we view life and the world around us. As a result of her blog, she has written for BlogHer.com and has been invited to attend and blog about the Social Good Summit and Mom+Social Good. In addition, she is a World Voice Editor for World Moms Network and was Managing Editor for a local grass roots activism group, ATLI(Action Together Long Island). Currently residing in Virginia Beach, VA with her husband, fourteen year-old Morkie and a three year old Lab Mix, she continues to write stories of women and children who make an impact in their communities and provide them a place to vocalize their passions.
How do you feel about young girls who become child brides? If a young woman was tricked into marriage, raped by her husband and tried to escape a violent attack by killing him, should she face the death penalty?
A Young Sudanese Girl
In Sudan, 16-year-old Noura Hussein was forced by her parents to marry her 35-year-old distant cousin. Instead of going through with it, Noura fled from her home in Khartoum and stayed with her aunt for a few years to continue with her education.
After graduating high school, she had thought the prospect of marriage was no longer an issue. Three years later, Noura’s parents convinced her to come home with the promise of no marriage to her cousin, but she was tricked and forced to marry her cousin in April regardless of her protestations. Noura felt trapped and hopeless so she went along with the wedding. Her dream of becoming a teacher was dashed. In addition to participating at a wedding that was not of her choice, she had to find ways to thwart her husband from consummating their marriage.
Noura refused to have sex with her husband for several days after the wedding, but on the ninth night, he had his male relatives hold her down while he raped her. When he tried to have sex with her again the following night, and she refused, he threatened her with a knife. While struggling with the knife, Noura was able to wrestle it away from her husband and stab him to death before he could rape her again.
Instead of protecting Noura, her father turned her into the police and she confessed to stabbing her husband to death. She was sent to jail and because marital rape is not seen as a crime in Sudan, the court sentenced her to death, stating her action to be criminal, not self-defense.
Noura’s death sentence has garnered global attention that resulted in overturning the death sentence, but she was still sent to prison for five years and ordered to pay a fine of $19,000 to her deceased husband’s family. How was this just? Wasn’t it enough that her family betrayed her by forcing her to marry a stranger, only to be raped for not acquiescing to have sex with him as he thought was his right as her husband? Yes, she stabbed her husband, but for Noura, it was her only way out of a hopeless and dangerous situation. She should not be condemned for trying to save her own life.
I understand that every country has traditions and customs, but how can forcing a young girl to marry at the age of 16 by her family be agreeable, even enforced by law in that country? According to the non-profit Girls Not Brides, 1 in 3 Sudanese girls is married before the age of 18. How can any girl develop their potential if they’re forced into a situation where they have no rights and are treated like property?
As a mom, I can’t imagine my daughter married at the age of 16, let alone forcing her into a marriage where it wasn’t her choice. Yes, I’m coming at this as a Mom with a Western perspective, but also as someone who values a person’s worth. I believe that every country’s traditions and customs should be respected, but if it means endangering the life of a child or young woman, then I don’t support it. Is she guilty of murdering her rapist or was it self-defense? In my opinion, Noura did what she thought was necessary to ensure that her husband did not rape her again or endanger her life.
To read the articles about this post, click below:
Tes Silverman was born in Manila, Philippines and has been a New Yorker for over 30 years. Moving from the Philippines to New York opened the doors to the possibility of a life of writing and travel. Before starting a family, she traveled to Iceland, Portugal, Belgium, and France, all the while writing about the people she met through her adventures. After starting a family, she became a freelance writer for publications such as Newsday’s Parents & Children and various local newspapers. Fifteen years ago, she created her blog, The Pinay Perspective. PinayPerspective.com is designed to provide women of all ages and nationalities the space to discuss the similarities and differences on how we view life and the world around us. As a result of her blog, she has written for BlogHer.com and has been invited to attend and blog about the Social Good Summit and Mom+Social Good. In addition, she is a World Voice Editor for World Moms Network and was Managing Editor for a local grass roots activism group, ATLI(Action Together Long Island). Currently residing in Virginia Beach, VA with her husband, fourteen year-old Morkie and a three year old Lab Mix, she continues to write stories of women and children who make an impact in their communities and provide them a place to vocalize their passions.
#WorldMom Ann Marie of Greece spent time with the children and workers in her charity
And a crazy buzz in the pit of my tummy which I had rarely felt since becoming a mother!
These were just some of a multitude of swirling emotions which engulfed me on my recent trip to East Africa. Travelling solo to a part of the world which has a bad reputation regarding health and safety measures was a challenge indeed! Not being able to sleep for about two days due to the length of the journey was just one of the obstacles I had to face. My main worry on the plane was planning tactics on how NOT to contract yellow fever, typhoid, malaria, diarrhoea, aids… the list was endless.
I really did NOT want to spend my time in Africa perched over a teeny hole trying to perfect my aim in a delirious state. Most Ugandan toilets are basically small ( to my European eyes) holes in the ground with no flush system or water. So getting sick there is no laughing matter. As it happened, I shared my hole with another 5 families, in a shed which could barely host my ample hips. Fortunately though, this daily, aerobic activity turned out to be the most dangerous experience of my whole stay – I never felt threatened in any other way during my visit. Close friends in the medical profession had made sure my suitcase was packed with enough medical supplies to fill a pharmacy/chemist shop.
I actually needed NONE of them and even stopped using the eye drops I normally use in Greece. I didn’t even get a tummy bug or headache but was the healthiest I can remember being in many years in fact. I do believe I had more kilos in healthcare products than clothes packed in my bags, all of which were unnecessary.
Despite being full of trepidation on the outward flight regarding the dangers of bad hygiene and drinking water from a suspicious source, my main emotion was that of euphoria. I had done it!
I had thrown caution to the wind and embarked on one of my life’s ambitions after putting it on hold for decades.
Starting a family usually means, for most mothers, a period where work and life goals are put away in a storage cupboard to be taken out and savoured on rainy days whilst enjoying a cup of tea.Unless you are fortunate enough to have a full time nanny or family member to take primary charge of your offspring, most mothers are busy with the daily needs of nurturing and running a household.
That usually means our (pre-motherhood) burning ambitions and personal life goals are stored away in the closet and reappear for a brief dusting and airing once in a while but rarely see the light of day. That’s what happened to me when I had my two sons. I had always wanted to go to work with Mother Theresa in Kolkatta and had actually made the application to go and do my gap year in India. Life had different plans for me however, and due to a series of events I ended up going to Berlin to do my year out. I had an unforgettable life experience living in Germany and one of the first things I did was volunteer to work with senior citizens. Having been involved in volunteer work since secondary school, my needs in this area were certainly fulfilled and I have absolutely no regrets about my time spent in Germany. However, there was always a nagging regret that I hadn’t gone to India. I was devastated at the death of Mother Theresa on several levels and it was a final confirmation that I would never meet her personally – at least not in this life.
When my two sons were old enough to be left on their own at home I became much more active again in the community and focused my efforts on working with the huge number of Syrian refugees who have been entering Greece the last few years. I also became active in trying to encourage sponsors and supporters for a start-up or charity in Uganda.
#WorldMom Ann Marie of Greece spent time with the workers in her charity
The regret I had about not going to India manifested itself once again during my developing friendship and admiration for the group of young African pioneers who were striving to bring about change for children in their community. It had always been my dream to go and learn in a third world country. After receiving several invitations from the charity organisers to go and stay with them, so we could share our culture and ideas, I took a major decision; I thought it’s either now or never!
I really needed to grab that quietly smouldering dream and yank it out of the closet once and forever.
My family and friends were touchingly supportive and encouraging so the whole preparation went really well.
I don’t want to go into too many details in this post about my actual time spent in Uganda. It would take too long! I’ll save that story for my next post.
The point I want to share with you now is that however long you have shelved and stored your dream its RARELY too late to fulfill it or at least do some slightly altered version of it.
Where will YOU go or what will you DO to fulfill your dream(s) … which have possibly been put on hold?
Having lived in 4 different countries, Ann Marie finds it difficult to give a short answer about where she's from. She regards herself: Brit by birth, Aussie by nature, with a sprinkling of Greek and German based on her insatiable appetite for tasty food and chilled beer!
This World Mom has been married to her Greek soulmate for 16 years and they are the proud but constantly challenged parents of two overactive teenage boys. (She secretly wonders sometimes if she was given the wrong babies when she left the maternity clinic.) She can't explain the fascination and ability that her 13 and 14 year-olds show in math and physics or that both boys are ranked 1st and 2nd nationally in judo. Ann Marie can only conclude that those years of breastfeeding, eating home cooked meals and home tutoring really DO make a difference in academic and physical performance! The family is keeping its fingers crossed that---with the awful economic crash in Greece---continued excellence in math and/or judo will lead to university scholarships...
In addition to writing, enjoying a good glass of wine and movies, Ann Marie also works as a teacher and tends their small, free-range farm in the Greek countryside.
Do you remember when you had your first period? Did you know what to do? Did you have someone to talk to about what menstruation was? In India, the idea of menstruation has been a taboo subject until one woman decided to tackle it head on.
Aditi Gupta had her first period when she was 12, but was told to keep it a secret. Why? In India, menstruation is seen as taboo and thought of as something that shouldn’t be discussed with anyone. The issue of menstruation has often created a stigma around it, especially in rural communities. With fear of being ostracized for something they can’t control, Gupta decided that there had to be a way to take away the shame and empower girls to speak about menstruation freely.
With the help of her husband Tuhin Paul, they created Menstrupedia in 2012, a website that outlines the physical and emotional changes that girls go through, during menstruation, as well as answering questions that girls wouldn’t ask anyone else for fear of retaliation.
While Menstrupedia was a good first step in learning about menstruation, it wasn’t enough to tackle the ongoing stigma that girls and women go through during their cycle. This stigma brings about isolation for millions of girls who don’t understand how to get past an age old tradition that shames them for being seen as impure. In order to bring more awareness of this issue, Gupta & Paul created a Menstrupedia comic book that considerably helps girls be more informed on it.
The comic book features four main characters who talk about menstruation when one of the characters gets her period. Through dialogue and illustration of the female anatomy, the subject is explained in detail, ensuring that girls from ages nine and above can understand the information. In addition, the message they want to spread is one of inclusion, not shame.
My first encounter with menstruation at twelve was confusing and frustrating. I was away from home and when I realized that I was going through it, I had no clue what was going on with my body. My mother never prepared me for what to expect with regard to menstruation. I was on vacation at my aunt’s home and in midst of playing with my cousins when I started to feel some discharge staining my shorts. Horrified and scared because I had no idea why I was bleeding, I ran to the bathroom and from behind closed doors, was informed by my aunt that I was menstruating. I was never told by my mother about this radical change in my body and thought there was something wrong with me. Fortunately, my aunt made sure to educate me about menstruation and future bodily changes I would go through during puberty by telling me about her experience.
It was not uncommon for my mother to withhold information about menstruation, since menstrual hygiene was never discussed in her family, and especially in public. In addition, awareness of menstruation was not supported because it was seen as a “woman’s problem”.
Education plays a big part in spreading awareness about this issue, but unfortunately, age-old traditions play just as big a part in how girls are perceived when they go through puberty. While traditions should be respected, it should never be at the cost of taking away a girl’s right to be educated about her body. Gupta’s comic book is a great way of educating girls in India on menstrual hygiene. In addition, it empowers them to take control over their bodies and not be shamed for what is happening to their physical well-being naturally.
To see the original article regarding this post, click here.
Tes Silverman was born in Manila, Philippines and has been a New Yorker for over 30 years. Moving from the Philippines to New York opened the doors to the possibility of a life of writing and travel. Before starting a family, she traveled to Iceland, Portugal, Belgium, and France, all the while writing about the people she met through her adventures. After starting a family, she became a freelance writer for publications such as Newsday’s Parents & Children and various local newspapers. Fifteen years ago, she created her blog, The Pinay Perspective. PinayPerspective.com is designed to provide women of all ages and nationalities the space to discuss the similarities and differences on how we view life and the world around us. As a result of her blog, she has written for BlogHer.com and has been invited to attend and blog about the Social Good Summit and Mom+Social Good. In addition, she is a World Voice Editor for World Moms Network and was Managing Editor for a local grass roots activism group, ATLI(Action Together Long Island). Currently residing in Virginia Beach, VA with her husband, fourteen year-old Morkie and a three year old Lab Mix, she continues to write stories of women and children who make an impact in their communities and provide them a place to vocalize their passions.
The words were chanted by women, men and children around me as I marched past the Washington Monument with 499,999 other people on Saturday in Washington D.C. A band played ahead of us, giving me a little extra pep in my step despite a churning stomach and a feeling of overwhelm from being in such a large crowd. Thousands of colorful signs – literally and figuratively – brightened the otherwise gray day.
I was with my good friend, Beth. The day after the American presidential election we declared that if we had the opportunity to raise our voices in Washington for women and girls, we would. We didn’t realize the time would come so quickly.
On Friday morning, we hopped in a car in Maine and drove to Delaware, where we stayed with Beth’s friend, spotting fellow marchers along our route. On Saturday morning we drove to a Maryland Metro station and waited two hours to get onto a train. We wore “pussyhats” and soaked every moment in, including a Metro transit policeman asking to try on a fellow marcher’s hat. There were photo opportunities and conversations and lots of anticipation. No one complained.
Once on the platform, a woman with a megaphone gave us the ground rules for the train to ensure our safety. Though she was working and dealing with an amazing amount of people, she smiled and thanked us for coming. Before the train arrived she asked us, “Who run the world?” We replied, “We do!” And we were off.
The train was full, but the Metro station in D.C. was even more packed. Wall to wall people, mostly women, were patiently waiting to exit the station onto the streets.
Chants of “keep hope alive” and “this is what democracy looks like” enveloped the station.
A rendition of “This Land is Your Land” spontaneously broke out. We were crammed like sardines with no place to go and happy as could be. When we passed a Metro worker, we made sure to thank him.
The “march” started well before anyone walked towards the White House. When we peacefully made our way out of the station, the chants continued as we made our way to Independence Avenue. Signs and pink hats were everywhere. People walked the streets while others lined them simply observing. There were people as far as the eye could see. People of all ages, genders, colors and ethnicities. It was incredible.
Beth and I made our way to Independence Avenue in a sea of people. When we stopped, we could barely move. But the energy was positive and the crowd peaceful. We found an alcove and listened to some of the speakers. We heard Alicia Keys and smiled as a little girl peaked around the wall to see the big screen behind the crowd, standing close to her mom.
When we started to collectively march towards the White House, I began to feel the importance of the day. It was historic and powerful and filled me with hope.
Though the movement was slow, it gave us time to read signs, chant some of our beliefs and soak it all in. Beth and I took a selfie by the Washington Monument with a “We the People” sign in the background.
After the election, I had talked to my sons about how we would use our voice and stand up for our fundamental beliefs if we felt the need. That even if we don’t agree with our new president, we should allow him to lead while also making sure he understands what is important to us. Like I’ve said here in the past, “As moms, it’s our job to show our kids how to be kind and tolerant of others while also knowing when to use our voice to stand up for what we believe in.”
Saturday wasn’t about protesting. Not for me and Beth. It was about making our voice heard for women and girls everywhere. For my boys, who I hope will be feminists in their own rights. It was about making sure women’s rights are seen as human rights. With so many marches for women around America and the world, I hope our leaders are listening.
What message do you hope we sent with the Women’s Marches?
This is an original post written for World Moms Network by Jennifer Iacovelli the author of Simple Giving.
