INDONESIA: Tomayto, Tomahto

INDONESIA: Tomayto, Tomahto

TomatoesAs a British-American family living in Indonesia, we seem to speak a special sort of English in our house. Although our kids attend the British school, their classmates are from all over the world and the accents they hear are typically mixed. While my daughter generally sounds American, my son tends to favor British vocabulary – he enjoys maths, plays football (never soccer) and cheerfully reports that his day was “brilliant.”

To an American ear, my own accent has a British sound, while to a Brit, my British husband sounds subtly American. We joke that our accents have merged over time, which is further reinforced by living outside of our home countries for many years.

In our family we use British and American terms interchangeably – we have torches and flashlights, throw away rubbish and trash, wear pants and trousers, and occasionally enjoy sweets and candy. Our kids have recently started to recognize and understand some of the differences. The other day my son informed me that I was pronouncing “vitamin” wrong. I explained that I say it differently and my daughter quickly jumped in with her support: “It’s okay Mommy, I say it that way, too!” Tomayto, tomahto…anything goes in our house.

In a few weeks we will be heading back to the US for summer break. While our friends and family are generally charmed by the kids’ way of speaking (“so cute!”), my own hybrid accent mostly confuses people. I once had a job interview after moving back to the US from abroad and the CEO took me aside afterward to excitedly ask where I was from. “I’m from Seattle originally,” I responded. “No, where are you really from?” he continued. “Uh…Seattle?” Clearly not the exotic hometown he expected.

Although it shouldn’t bother me, sometimes it does.

When I first studied in the UK many years ago I was very self-conscious about my American accent. The young people I worked with would often imitate me and I was continually aware of standing out whenever I opened my mouth. Now, with my mixed pronunciation, I blend in more easily and comfortably slip into colloquial Brit-speak whenever I visit. I still sound different but I don’t mind.

Yet for some reason, it does bother me to be labeled as different in the place I am from. Partly I think it’s the perception of being “other” that gets to me. Living in Indonesia, I am used to feeling this way. But when I return to my hometown, I want to be able to fit right back in – even if it’s been years (well…decades) since I’ve lived there.

Despite my pre-vacation efforts to Americanize my accent, I can still hear the well-enunciated sounds tumbling out of my mouth and the British-style intonation. I try to re-train myself to soften my Ts, pronounce my Rs and say “really” instead of “quite”. Yet as much as I try to flick the American switch in my brain, I know I won’t always get it right. I’m bound to ask where the “toilet” is instead of the restroom and I might accidentally order in Indonesian, just to further confuse things.

I sound different because I am different. Perhaps it’s time to embrace it.

This is an original post for World Moms Blog by our American-mom-of-twins writer, Shaula Bellour, currently residing in Indonesia.

The image used in this post is credited to Jeremy Keith. It holds a Flickr: Creative Commons attribution license.

Shaula Bellour (Indonesia)

Shaula Bellour grew up in Redmond, Washington. She now lives in Jakarta, Indonesia with her British husband and 9-year old boy/girl twins. She has degrees in International Relations and Gender and Development and works as a consultant for the UN and non-governmental organizations. Shaula has lived and worked in the US, France, England, Kenya, Eritrea, Kosovo, Lebanon and Timor-Leste. She began writing for World Moms Network in 2010. She plans to eventually find her way back to the Pacific Northwest one day, but until then she’s enjoying living in the big wide world with her family.

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USA/POLAND: Transitions

USA/POLAND: Transitions

We are ready for Poland, countdown calendar and all!

We are ready for Poland, countdown calendar and all!

A year ago, we were preparing to leave Thailand after four years. We’ve now been settled on the East Coast of the U.S. for ten months. And in two months, we’ll depart for Poland, where we’ll spend three years. That’s two international moves for our family of five in nearly one year.

All of these transitions come easily for my husband and me, since we chose careers that we knew would involve us transiting the globe every few years. But how will it affect our children? The youngest (newly one-year old) is too young to know what’s happening yet and lucky for us, the other two (ages three and five) have been good about going with the flow so far.

But not far from my mind is how their opinions on this transient lifestyle will change over time, especially as they begin to develop good friends and fondness for certain places.

When I look back at our time in Thailand, it evokes a sense of nostalgia for me because it was the place where both of my daughters were born, where my son spent his first four years of life, entered his first school, and made his first friends. My children developed a strong affinity for Thai food, were comfortable living and walking the streets of a big city, and became spoiled by monthly trips to the beach. Every day was a swim day. Travel to cool places such as Bali, Hong Kong, and Australia was easy. The Thai people were welcoming and friendly, and loved interacting with the kids, and as a result, my children developed a strong sense of confidence and ability to easily and comfortably interact with others. Thailand was their first home and I believe, will always be a big part of who they are.

Catching a ride on a street stall food truck in Bangkok

Catching a ride on a street stall food truck in Bangkok

My husband and I talked to the children a lot about our move back to the United States in July 2014. When we packed everything up, said our goodbyes, and headed for a three-day layover in Hawaii, the kids were adjusting to the concept that the U.S. was not just one place, but a place made of 50 states. As we made our way from Hawaii to California, Michigan, and Virginia, our four-year old kept asking us when we were going to get to “America.” Soon after that, we invested in a large, magnetic USA map and had a geography lesson or two at home. The kids were thrilled with the discovery that in “America” there are water fountains in parks and airports (and that you could actually drink the water from them), that a mailman delivers mail to your house every day, that people who live in houses have neighbors, back yards, and can do things like set up lemonade stands or invite friends over for a night of s’mores-making.

What is this white stuff?  Discovering snow in the U.S.

What is this white stuff? Discovering snow in the U.S.

And then there was the discovery of seasons, snow, door-to-door trick-or-treating, fall festivals with pumpkins, hay rides, and mazes, spring festivals with strawberry and blueberry picking, summer carnivals, and of course, Disney World. And to top it off, they’ve had a wonderful year of connecting with family. They have developed strong bonds with grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles. Sleepovers at the grandparents occur on a regular basis.

And now, ten months into our time in the U.S., when we are just settled, comfortable with our home, our neighborhood, our friends, the schools, the rhythm of the seasons, and happy to be near family, we are getting ready to head overseas for our next adventure in Krakow, Poland. For several months we’ve been prepping the kids for the move – talking up castles, countryside, dragon festivals, skiing, and Polish bakeries. We’ve been listening to the Frozen soundtrack – my daughter’s favorite – in Polish. We’ve been practicing our hellos and thank yous in Polish. We’ve been talking about our new schools, how we’ll get to school, where we’ll live, and where we’ll visit. Although I’m not sure that they fully comprehend the concept of starting over again, they are excited about the move. It is fun to share in their enthusiasm.

Sometimes they ask us what’s after Poland – a question for which we don’t yet have an answer. As I think about the next three years, I know that the kids will be exposed to new experiences that will continue to shape who they are. It’s fun to be in this together, our family of five.

So when does this get hard? When do they start lobbying to stay in one spot and resist leaving friends, schools, and places behind? When do they tire of the transient lifestyle? When will it be hard to garner their enthusiasm for yet another move? And how do we as parents support them, empathize with them, or even determine whether the regular moves are still the best thing for our family?

These questions cross my mind every once in awhile, but until that time comes, we’re going to continue to enjoy the new places, activities, cultures and friends that await us, remembering the people we’ve met and the places we’ve lived along the way are all part and parcel of who we are and how we approach life.

Have you and your family always lived in the same place? How do you deal with transitions?

This is an original post to World Momst Blog by Loren Braunohler, currently in the United States and preparing for a move to Poland. Photo credit to the author.

Loren Braunohler

Loren Braunohler is a former U.S. diplomat turned stay-at-home mom and freelance writer. She is a world traveler who avoids the cold (don't ask why she is currently in Poland). Former assignments have included Mozambique, Venezuela, Australia, Sudan, Thailand and Washington, D.C. She enjoys running, although she probably enjoys sleeping even more. Loren blogs about her family's international adventures and parenting at www.toddlejoy.com.

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GUEST POST: SINGAPORE–Our Little Island Charm

GUEST POST: SINGAPORE–Our Little Island Charm

SingaporeCity_jdoquinnTwo months ago, we had our first experience going to a medical clinic in a foreign country.

Come to think of it, we managed nearly four years in Paris without needing to do so. It helped that we lived across the street from a pharmacy (a distinct Parisian ‘landmark’). Those days, we relied heavily on self-medication and the advice of our friendly pharmacist.

This time around, these options couldn’t cut it. Our 22 month-old daughter had already been ill for a week and wasn’t getting any better.

Having only recently arrived in Abu Dhabi, we had no idea about which pediatrician to consult. Armed with a recommendation from a mum’s group, I called up only to find out with some panic that the earliest appointment was in four days’ time. After some frantic telephone conversations with my husband, we made a dash for a walk-in clinic which closed its doors at 1pm.

While this may be common in many countries, it is not something that we would have encountered back home. In Singapore, we could always see our pediatrician at short notice after a quick phone call. This was always reassuring, especially for first-time parents who made a big deal out of every rise in temperature or unusual cough.

Our experience at the clinic made me a little homesick and left me wishing for many things, big and small, that we often take for granted back in Singapore.

This feeling was further intensified a few days later, when news broke that Singapore’s first Prime Minister, Mr. Lee Kuan Yew, had passed away.

Amid the numerous news reports and posts on social media from friends and folks back home, I felt a keen sadness for the nation’s loss of the man who made Singapore what she is today.

Countless politicians, heads of state, journalists and media outlets inundated us with statements, commentaries and judgements on the life and impact of our “giant of history”. I leave this to them.

What I’ve been mulling over, what preoccupies me as a parent, is what Mr. Lee Kuan Yew’s legacy entails; it’s what he has left Singaporeans, our future generations and my daughter.

Every opportunity is available to my daughter:

  • She has access to education from an early age and will never have to struggle for the right to go to school.
  • She can run around freely in our neighbourhood and enjoy her childhood innocence in playgrounds.
  • She can go out with her mother now, or alone in the future, without restriction or the necessity of being accompanied by a male presence.
  • She can travel around our little island on public transport, and see marvellous skyscrapers and iconic buildings, all set amidst verdant flora.
  • Her safety outside our home is not an issue that her father or I have to worry our heads about, neither does she need to be anxious over whether her parents will get home safely at the end of the day.
  • She will have friends from so many different cultures and nationalities, and she can be proud of being able to claim heritage from multiple cultures.

Every opportunity awaits my daughter, for her to make something out of it.

For these and many other reasons, my heart hangs heavy and yet swells with pride for our tiny island and I long for the next time we arrive again at Changi Airport, to see the sign “Welcome Home”. It is a home and country that a visionary built. It may not be a perfect place but my daughter has so many things to be thankful for.

This is an original, first post to World Moms Blog from KC, who is currently stationed with her family in Abu Dhabi but born and bred in Singapore. This is their first international job posting with their daughter, TT, who is now 22 months old. You can read more about Singaporean-expat life through KC’s eyes on her blog, Mummy In Transit, or through her Facebook page at www.facebook.com/mummyintransit .

The image used in this post is credited to the author’s friend, Jacob O’Quinn, and is used here with permission.

World Moms Blog

World Moms Blog is an award winning website which writes from over 30 countries on the topics of motherhood, culture, human rights and social good. Over 70 international contributors share their stories from around the globe, bonded by the common thread of motherhood and wanting a better world for their children. World Moms Blog was listed by Forbes Woman as one of the "Best 100 Websites for Women 2012 & 2013" and also called a "must read" by the NY Times Motherlode in 2013. Our Senior Editor in India, Purnima Ramakrishnan, was awarded the BlogHer International Activist Award in 2013.

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SOCIAL GOOD GUEST POST: INDIA: Angi and Friends

SOCIAL GOOD GUEST POST: INDIA: Angi and Friends

Screen Shot 2015-05-12 at 7.00.14 AM copyThis is Angi, in the Ganges river on the first day we met in India. She is the reason I decided to start a school (for her and children like her), for Angi and her friends.

She was my first Indian child-friend, she was seven or eight years old. Angi did not know her birthday or how old she was exactly. I figured she was around the same age of my own twins who were: “seven and a half” as they would proudly say to anyone who would ask.

water

I took pictures of her happy face as we were giving her attention and joined in her water play. My “ignorant self “ thought she was a boy (short hair, no full bathing suit, no jewelry) but my friend “Helen” told me that she was a girl and that we were in fact bathing in the women ghat! ( a place exclusively for women to take a bath). Had I missed a sign ?

We played “patty cake”, threw mud, bonded, laughed and swam in the Ganges together. She showed me how to get blessings from Ma Ganga. Afterwards she let us know that she was hungry as she pulled us towards the ice cream cart.

I met her every day until it was time for me to return home.

I was wondering were she would find a “home” for herself that evening. I was wondering what she would be eating and who’s footsteps she would blindly follow in the hopes of a random act of kindness.

I was to go back and help her and so I returned the following summer.

I never found her when I went back, but I found many of her little friends who told me that Angi had moved to the city….

The band of children who would hang out around the walk bridge looking to make some money was still there. A little girl (Arti) was selling flowers just like the way I had seen her do the summer before. In exactly the same spot and even the brown cow seemed to have turned into a “statue –like” creature. I wondered:” Had one evening flowed into one year?”

girl

Vikas was still selling recycled shopping bags. Raj was still selling newspapers. Arti (my flower girl) became my second dear friend. It was with much delight that my own children a year later would become friends with her. Even though it was a hard lesson for my daughter to see that trading footwear (similar to trading rainbow loom bracelets in the USA) turned into:“ I love your shiny Target sandals for ever and ever…”

I called them lovingly: “The children of the Ganges” because Ma Ganga was there lifeline/home. They called me: “Didi” (sister).

The year after meeting them I bought art supplies and most evenings (if the rain was not pouring down) we met at the steps of the Ganga, the children gathered and made drawings that I later turned into cards upon my return to NY.

kids painting

Many people have opened their hearts along the way and given time, talent, gifts, and money for “The Children of the Ganges”.

UNIS PTA bought many cards, UNIS parents and students have given and raised money, Emily held a success full penny drive at her school in NJ, many old UNIS library books made it to India, along with old UNIS laptops and school supplies.

Many blessings have returned to me.

So I continue to return every summer holiday and give my time and my best so they may have a chance to reach their potential. My hopes are that at least this handful of children will not turn into child brides or child laborers.

kids at school

Singing ,Traditional Indian dancing, art, yoga, English, photography, and computers are among the offerings to the Children of the Ganges. It is a safe place to come to because: ” our teachers’ hands are for helping instead of hitting”

For more info about our: “ no hitting school “ go to: www.childrenoftheganges.com

It is a 501(C) (3) registered public charity in the USA.

I am forever grateful for the many friends and strangers who care and support us.

Namaste, Truike

ganges

World Moms Blog

World Moms Blog is an award winning website which writes from over 30 countries on the topics of motherhood, culture, human rights and social good. Over 70 international contributors share their stories from around the globe, bonded by the common thread of motherhood and wanting a better world for their children. World Moms Blog was listed by Forbes Woman as one of the "Best 100 Websites for Women 2012 & 2013" and also called a "must read" by the NY Times Motherlode in 2013. Our Senior Editor in India, Purnima Ramakrishnan, was awarded the BlogHer International Activist Award in 2013.

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INDONESIA:  Explaining Poverty to Your Child

INDONESIA: Explaining Poverty to Your Child

povertytrainWhen it was time for my son to start school, I knew I wanted him to go to private school and thankfully, he was accepted into one of the international schools near our house.

Private school has its pluses and unfortunately its negatives too.

My son’s classmates are from the upper-middle class, those whose spring breaks were spent going to Japan or Hong Kong to visit Disney Land. The same kids who also have their own iPads and the latest cell phones.

I realized this might cause a challenge for us—with me being a single mom, who had just recently returned to the corporate world—but I try  not to let their different lifestyles make my son feel that he’s different.

So that’s why, on Easter weekend, I took him on a mini-getaway to my new job.

We did not take a taxi to get to my office, which is in a hotel. Instead, we rode the train like I do daily. I wanted to show him this is what his mother has to do to get to and from work. He got to see views that he won’t see from inside a nice air conditioned taxi or private car.

He loved staying in the hotel, just like most kids do, so we had a blast. But on our way home Sunday afternoon, the train was full. Not as full as it normally would be on a week day, still, we had to stand. We were leaning against the wall that separates the engine and the passengers. With the train swaying, it didn’t take long before my son told me he wished he could sit down.

Part of my mama bear instinct wanted to give him a seat but part of my tough love was to allow him to feel and experience how not everyone is blessed with a comfortable life.

I hope by showing him what I have to go through on a daily basis it will help him realize that I am working hard, that as the sole bread winner, I am providing for him. Yes, his father pays for school but outside of that, he is my responsibility and I’m doing my best to take care of him.

Yes, I told him I would love to be able to take him to Disney Land someday but for now, we have other priorities. Bills to pay, medicines to get for my parents, uniforms to alter, the list goes on.

Through our short train ride, my son was exposed to life “outside the fence”. What he saw through the windows of the train: makeshift shacks, houses built only inches away from the train tracks, kids playing soccer barefooted with garbage piling up around them. Hard life. The other side of glamorous Jakarta living.

We discuss this. He asked me why these people are living in such poor conditions. My heart ached having to explain that some people are not as fortunate as we are and that poverty is real.

We have a house to live in, a roof over our heads, while others came to the big city to chase their dreams and never made it. That’s why it is important for him to get his education so he can make a living for himself, one that hopefully he will love. I told him it is easy to look up and want what other people have but we need to be in the now, to be grateful for what we already have. To remember that there are those who need our help, who are struggling just to eat.

My wish is for my son to understand this, to grow up being grateful for what we have and to have a heart that is kind and willing to help others.

How do you explain poverty to your children?

This is an original post to World Moms Blog from our writer and single-mom to one in Jakarta, Tatter Scoops.

The image used in this post is attributed to Hideki Yoshida. It carries a Flickr Creative Commons attribution license.

Maureen

Founder of Single Moms Indonesia, community leader and builder. Deeply passionate about women empowerment.

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JAPAN: Daily Duties

JAPAN: Daily Duties

daily dutiesI start my morning here in Japan the same way every day: by cleaning out the drain trap.

Not very pretty, I suppose, but I’ve learned the hard way that it needs to be done frequently and well. The drain traps here in Japan are metal mesh to prevent food from going down the drain. They get gross very quickly.

I’m pretty sure I started out my days when I lived in the US with a cup of coffee, which seems quite glamorous by comparison!

In spite of our gains in education or employment opportunities over the last century, much of our time as women gets taken up by mundane household tasks like this. Women all around the world are doing the same kind of things: laundry, food preparation, cleaning, child care, though in very different ways.

It makes me curious. How much of your time gets spent on “daily chores?” What kinds of things do you need to do every day? Do you do them alone, or do you have help?

Perhaps it is a boring topic, but for comparison I thought I would share a little bit of what housework is like here in Japan.

Laundry gets done daily in most families. We have washing machines, but most people don’t have dryers. In a country with cold winters, humid summers, and a rainy season, keeping up with the laundry feels like a daily battle! When the weather is not cooperative, laundry gets hung from curtain rails or any other overhang that can be found indoors. We have to bob and weave our way around the house. Imagine that Catherine Zeta Jones movie, but with laundry instead of lasers.

I do the shopping most days as well. This is quite common here in the greater Tokyo area, where storage space is limited and many people do not have cars to allow buying in bulk. Milk is sold by the liter; laundry detergent in 500ml bottles. The biggest shopping challenge is buying rice, which comes in 5 or 10kg bags.

I need to dust and vacuum every day. This is much more often than we did in the US growing up. I’m not sure why Japan is so dusty. Could it be the tatami floors? The single pane windows? The small living space? And more important than why, how can I make this dust accumulation stop?

Japanese cuisine seems to be gaining in popularity around the world. Many Japanese people eat a full meal in the morning (though this is slowly changing,) as well as at lunch and dinner. Japanese bento are also getting a lot of attention on the Internet for being nutritious as well as visually appealing. Overwhelmingly, the cooking is done by women. (Personally, since my children’s lunch is provided by the school, most days I cook twice.)

Like most families here, we have a gas stove-top, a rice cooker, and a microwave combined with an electric oven for cooking. My mother-in-law has a separate gas burner that can be placed on the table for doing things like sukiyaki or okonomiyaki, foods that are consumed as soon as they are cooked by the family from the same dish. My children are still a bit too small for me to attempt this at home.

I think many of us around the world are doing these same things, but the nitty-gritty of how we get it done and how often we do it are different. I can’t help but wonder what housework says about the values of the culture.

In the US, for example, many families take pride in a well-decorated home. In Japan that is much less important. (Perhaps because many women are spending all that time dusting and dodging laundry….)

What kinds of things are included in your daily duties? How do you feel about doing them?

This is an original post to World Moms Blog from our writer in Japan and mother of two, Melanie Oda.

The image used in this post is attributed to the author.

Melanie Oda (Japan)

If you ask Melanie Oda where she is from, she will answer "Georgia." (Unless you ask her in Japanese. Then she will say "America.") It sounds nice, and it's a one-word answer, which is what most people expect. The truth is more complex. She moved around several small towns in the south growing up. Such is life when your father is a Southern Baptist preacher of the hellfire and brimstone variety. She came to Japan in 2000 as an assistant language teacher, and has never managed to leave. She currently resides in Yokohama, on the outskirts of Tokyo (but please don't tell anyone she described it that way! Citizens of Yokohama have a lot of pride). No one is more surprised to find her here, married to a Japanese man and with two bilingual children (aged four and seven), than herself. And possibly her mother. You can read more about her misadventures in Asia on her blog, HamakkoMommy.

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