SOUTH AFRICA: What is Love?

What is Love

What is love? I believe that each one of us understands “love” differently. Our upbringing has a lot to do with the way we show our love to others, and in the way we interpret loving gestures. Sometimes this leads to hurt feelings and misunderstandings. In this era of internet communication there are myriad ways of being misunderstood and / or to be taken advantage of, because of our imperfect understanding of what true love means.

I’m sure that every single one of you reading this has a clear idea of what love means to you – and I bet no two ideas are the same. That said, love is a universal need. According to Maslow’s Hierarchy, as soon as the basic necessities of survival (such as food, shelter, warmth, rest, safety and security) have been met, the next thing humans crave is love and the feeling of belonging.

For the longest time I felt unworthy of love, until I was exposed to the work of Dr. John Demartini. In his book The Breakthrough Experience, Dr. Demartini defines true love:

True love is a synthesis of the two aspects of one wave, and one full wave is light, which can also be called love. Love is a full quantum state. In physics they know that a full quantum state is massless, chargeless, spaceless and timeless, which by definition is spiritual and unconditional. Consciousness is light, and it comes in full quantum states. God is full quantum light.

Many people have different ideas of what love is, but I’m defining it as the synthesis or perfect blending of all dualistic perceptions, the summation of all polarities. When happiness and sadness are synthesized, they make love. Like and dislike, positive and negative, pain and pleasure, electron and positron in physics, all dualities, when totally synthesized, are love. No matter what -ology you investigate they all lead to the same essence, which is love, which is the unified field theory that permeates every human being and links us all.

Another quote of his is this:

No matter what you’ve done or not done, you’re worthy of love, and there’s nothing but love, all else is illusion. If you take the time to ask the right questions and reveal to your awareness what your intuition and inspiration are constantly calling you to be aware of, you will discover this, and you will be grateful for your life and you will do extraordinary things.

What I got out of that is that we don’t need to be a particular way or do a particular thing in order to be loved. Our essence is love. We just need to remember that!

How do you understand and define love? Do you agree that everyone is worthy of unconditional love?

This is an original post for World Moms Blog by Mama Simona from Cape Town, South Africa. Photo credit: Simon Shek / Flickr.

Mamma Simona (South Africa)

Mamma Simona was born in Rome (Italy) but has lived in Cape Town (South Africa) since she was 8 years old. She studied French at school but says she’s forgotten most of it! She speaks Italian, English and Afrikaans. Even though Italian is the first language she learned, she considers English her "home" language as it's the language she's most comfortable in. She is happily married and the proud mother of 2 terrific teenagers! She also shares her home with 2 cats and 2 dogs ... all rescues. Mamma Simona has worked in such diverse fields as Childcare, Tourism, Library Services, Optometry, Sales and Admin! (With stints of SAHM in-between). She’s really looking forward to the day she can give up her current Admin job and devote herself entirely to blogging and (eventually) being a full-time grandmother!

More Posts - Website

Follow Me:
Facebook

WORLD VOICE: Go #Lunchless To Fight Child Hunger

WORLD VOICE: Go #Lunchless To Fight Child Hunger

Save The Children has launched the #Lunchless campaign this month to help raise awareness of the severe growing hunger crisis in East Africa. The world needs to act now to save the nearly 20 million lives that are at risk in Ethiopia, Kenya, Somalia, South Sudan, and Uganda where children are suffering from extreme hunger. Families in this region are in urgent need of food and safe drinking water, and many severely malnourished children are in need of immediate treatment.
A combination of drought, man-made conflicts, and refugees flooding into already fragile surrounding countries have exacerbated shortages, creating the perfect storm for a humanitarian crisis of this scale.
According to the UN this is the worst hunger crisis that the world has faced in decades, with areas of South Sudan experiencing famine and other areas of East Africa currently on the brink. The UN defines a region where over 30% of the children under the age of five are suffering from acute malnutrition as experiencing famine. Malnutrition is the greatest underlying cause of death in children under the age of five around the globe, yet it is an entirely treatable condition.  With proper treatment a child on the brink of starvation can be brought back to health in less than two months.
Recently the CEO of Save the Children, Carolyn Miles, traveled to Somalia with David Muir to report on the hunger crisis. The report that aired on ABC News last week served as a wake-up call to many on the severity of the situation. I attended the Moms+Social Good event in New York City last week in where Carolyn spoke about the experience of seeing so many children suffering first hand. She recounted part of the interview caught on film with David Muir and Dr. Yousif Ali at a feeding center in Somalia where Dr. Ali states that the children who were at the clinic, even the ones in critical condition, were the lucky ones. Many others had perished on their way to get help.
In the year 2017 no mother should have to watch her child die because of lack of food and water.
What if each of us gave up our lunch for one day? Save the Children is asking us to go #Lunchless to experience what it might feel like to go without by missing a meal. If for one day this week each of us went #Lunchless and donated our lunch money to Save the Children instead, we could save lives. Each #lunchless donation to East Africa Child Hunger Crisis & Famine Relief Fund is being matched by two separate anonymous donors up to $150,000 further amplifying each gift.

HERE’S HOW YOU CAN HELP:

1. Skip lunch and post a photo of yourself/your group going #Lunchless.

2. Through May 31st you can donate your lunch money by texting LUNCHLESS to 20222 to donate $10* (or donate any other amount here: http://ow.ly/lJUB30bdXAQ ).

3. Challenge your friends, colleagues and peers to join you by going #Lunchless by tagging them in your social media post.

*Your $10 donation to Save the Children’s Child Hunger and Famine Relief Fund will be added to your mobile bill. Message and data rates may appy. Terms: www.hmgf.org/ Privacy policy at www.savethechildren.org/ privacy
This is an original post written by Elizabeth Atalay for World Moms Network.
Photo Credits: Save the Children

Elizabeth Atalay

Elizabeth Atalay is a Digital Media Producer, Managing Editor at World Moms Network, and a Social Media Manager. She was a 2015 United Nations Foundation Social Good Fellow, and traveled to Ethiopia as an International Reporting Project New Media Fellow to report on newborn health in 2014. On her personal blog, Documama.org, she uses digital media as a new medium for her background as a documentarian. After having worked on Feature Films and Television series for FOX, NBC, MGM, Columbia Pictures, Warner Brothers, 20th Century Fox, and Castle Rock Pictures, she studied documentary filmmaking and anthropology earning a Masters degree in Media Studies from The New School in New York. Since becoming a Digital Media Producer she has worked on social media campaigns for non-profits such as Save The Children, WaterAid, ONE.org, UNICEF, United Nations Foundation, Edesia, World Pulse, American Heart Association, and The Gates Foundation. Her writing has also been featured on ONE.org, Johnson & Johnson’s BabyCenter.com, EnoughProject.org, GaviAlliance.org, and Worldmomsnetwork.com. Elizabeth has traveled to 70 countries around the world, most recently to Haiti with Artisan Business Network to visit artisans in partnership with Macy’s Heart of Haiti line, which provides sustainable income to Haitian artisans. Elizabeth lives in New England with her husband and four children.

More Posts

USA: Returning to Myself in Paris

USA: Returning to Myself in Paris

Just last week, I found myself in Paris, France. I was about to meet my niece, who was studying abroad, but I gave myself an extra first day on my own. I made plans with our contributor in Paris, Marie Kléber, whom I didn’t know very well, but whom I was so excited to meet!

She met me at my hotel, and we headed out by metro to the area of Saint Martin. She helped me navigate purchasing my travel card, and led me to a trendy, “oh so good!”, vegan place for lunch. We sat on high stools looking out toward the street. We talked and talked and talked! (Mostly in English, but later switched to French!) I wanted to know all about her life. What her life was like in Paris as a mom. About the French elections happening the next day. She was curious about how World Moms Network got started, and if I had met any of the other World Moms and who! (Lucky to say, yes, I have!)

It felt surreal. I traveled all this way, and all of a sudden I have a good friend here whom I had never met before. But, it’s not a unique feeling. It’s the same feeling when Purnima from India met Ecoziva in Brazil. When Tara from Canada met Nancy in Tanzania. When Martine from the Philippines met Ruth in Singapore. When I met Mama B. from Saudi Arabia in NYC. In our own efforts we are satisfying (or igniting more!) curiosities about the world through meeting women from around the world. Woman who we wouldn’t come across in our towns or cities at home. We found them through this network.

In France I had a feeling of complete comfort in a foreign city that had just been the site of a terrorist attack the night before. After lunch Marie took me to see the statue of Rèpublique, a piece of her French heritage. Then, I assumed I’d just find my way back to my hotel on my own. I had such a fantastic time with her!!

But no, Marie, rode the metro back toward my hotel with me, out of her way. And walked me back to my hotel. She was going to tell me how best to get to a friend’s place for later tonight. It turned out it was only 2 blocks from where she lived. What are the chances of that? So, Marie insisted that she take me to my friend’s doorstep. And I insisted that she come in and meet my friend!

World Moms Network reminds me that the world isn’t so big. That there are amazing people to meet in every culture. We just have to reach out and allow ourselves to be connected. Let go of what is familiar. We may be surprised.

Marie gave me more than just great conversation, a tour around her home city, and sight-seeing tips for me and my niece. I had been feeling burnt out lately. I had spent so many years straight working and squeezing hours as though squeezing the last of the toothpaste to work on World Moms Network since 2010. And this past 100 days, watching how my own country is trying to defund the very life-saving global health programs that I’ve been writing about and passionately advocating for. Calling my Senators and Congressman. Reading. Disappointed. And on top of all that, busier in my children’s lives in my new role this year as Girl Scout Leader. And finally making exercise a priority for my health.

World Moms Network has continued to deliver while I have been juggling other life stages because of the strength of the team of women behind me. Just in case you ever thought that this site was just me, it’s sooo never been just me. Thank you to the World Moms who carry the torch when other World Moms just cannot.

It’s amazing how a conversation with a new friend thousands of miles away can take you back to what you stand for. For what you fight for. For peace. For friendship. For understanding. For cultural appreciation. For respect. For maturity. To help you find your footing. Guide you back to writing. To restore you energy.

It’s been awhile since I wrote. Thank you, Marie. I’m back.

This is an original post to World Moms Network by founder, Jennifer Burden, of New Jersey, USA.  

Photo credits to the author. 

Jennifer Burden

Jennifer Burden is the Founder and CEO of World Moms Network, an award winning website on global motherhood, culture, human rights and social good. World Moms Network writes from over 30 countries, has over 70 contributors and was listed by Forbes as one of the “Best 100 Websites for Women”, named a “must read” by The New York Times, and was recommended by The Times of India. She was also invited to Uganda to view UNICEF’s family health programs with Shot@Life and was previously named a “Global Influencer Fellow” and “Social Media Fellow” by the UN Foundation. Jennifer was invited to the White House twice, including as a nominated "Changemaker" for the State of the World Women Summit. She also participated in the One Campaign’s first AYA Summit on the topic of women and girl empowerment and organized and spoke on an international panel at the World Bank in Washington, DC on the importance of a universal education for all girls. Her writing has been featured by Baby Center, Huffington Post, ONE.org, the UN Foundation’s Shot@Life, and The Gates Foundation’s “Impatient Optimists.” She is currently a candidate in Columbia University's School of International and Public Affairs in the Executive Masters of Public Affairs program, where she hopes to further her study of global policies affecting women and girls. Jennifer can be found on Twitter @JenniferBurden.

More Posts - Website

Follow Me:
Twitter

WORLD VOICE: New Year, Same You

I’m not big on New Year’s resolutions. There are always things I’m working on, especially as a mother – less yelling, more cuddling; less rushing, more patience; less rigidity, more flexibility – but these feel ongoing and the work of a lifetime, rather than something I can suddenly begin to do (or not do) on a specific day. I also don’t love New Year’s Resolutions (though I know some folks find them very helpful) because I worry that they play into the mindset that we’re meant to be constantly on the self-improvement train. Always smarter, faster, better, thinner, stronger, richer, etc. If we’re not careful we can find ourselves dissatisfied with current circumstances, always grasping for the next thing.

Of course, the world is in a precarious place, by many standards. It seems that we are all going to be asked to show up in the absolute best way we can. As I think about how I’m having conversations with my kids about what that means to show up, what it means to be our absolute best, I struggle to communicate two truths:

  1. Who and how you are right now is good enough.
  2. We all need to listen and pay attention and be willing to change when needed.

It’s been my experience that I am most willing and ready to change when I feel seen and heard and understood exactly as I am. And so I know my work for my children is to really pay attention to who they are, to see them and hear them and understand them, trusting that if they feel safe and secure and loved, they will be willing to do the hard work of change and transformation for themselves and for the world.

This is what I hope to do, not only for my children, but for my entire community. To contribute to each of us feeling safe and secure enough to show up in the best possible way: strong, fierce, and humble.

The last day of 2016 this poem was shared with me. I share it now with you:

 

“Forget about enlightenment.

Sit down wherever you are

And listen to the wind singing in your veins.

Feel the love, the longing, and the fear in your bones.

Open your heart to who you are, right now,

Not who you would like to be.

Not the saint you’re striving to become.

But the being right here before you, inside you, around you.

All of you is holy.

You’re already more and less

Than whatever you can know.

Breathe out, touch in, let go.”

– John Welwood

 

May we all remember –and remind our children – that all of each of us is holy.

 

Here’s to 2017! Did you stick to your resolution if you made one?

This is an original blog written for World Moms Network by Ms. V.

Ms. V. (South Korea)

Ms. V returned from a 3-year stint in Seoul, South Korea and is now living in the US in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her partner, their two kids, three ferocious felines, and a dog named Avon Barksdale. She grew up all over the US, mostly along the east coast, but lived in New York City longer than anywhere else, so considers NYC “home.” Her love of travel has taken her all over the world and to all but four of the 50 states. Ms. V is contemplative and sacred activist, exploring the intersection of yoga, new monasticism, feminism and social change. She is the co-director and co-founder of Samdhana-Karana Yoga: A Healing Arts Center, a non-profit yoga studio and the spiritual director for Hab Community. While not marveling at her beautiful children, she enjoys reading, cooking, and has dreams of one day sleeping again.

More Posts

Follow Me:
Twitter

NEW ZEALAND: The Oppression of Expectation

NEW ZEALAND: The Oppression of Expectation

As a new mum, I quickly realised that I wasn’t capable of meeting my baby’s needs, staying alive/sane myself, and having a clean house and the garden the way I would like it. I’m not sure if that’s just me or if it was my baby (eventually three babies) or the way I chose to parent, but it was that simple. I made the only choice I thought I had: the mess ruled, and still does, the babies and I came/come first.

It cost me people: after my anti-natal coffee-group had been around on one particularly messy occasion, I had several in that group who never returned; I had someone close to me, on more than one occasion tell me she couldn’t live this (with dramatic gesture) way, and my ex-father-in-law was postively rude every time he walked in the door.

I care. I cared. It upset me. I like things to be clean and orderly, I’d love my garden to be gorgeous with trimmed lawns. I’d like it done and it drives me nuts that in my  otherwise very well organised life, I can’t pull it all off.  I’m not sure how others can. How do you?

Now the boys are older (15, 12 & 7.5 – don’t forget the half), and I’m a solo-mum. I work full-time equivalent between two jobs, and the kids and I still come as first as we can. The boys contribute to getting things done and daily/weekly I do the basics like loo and washing, but still outside and inside usually look like a tribe of elephants has been through. I still get people calling in and casting an eye and giving me the frosty-nostril – to the point I’ve never really had visitors come to the house for over two years.

I have lovely friends, and the vast majority would visit me and not my house, but that sense of not being enough remains constant. I rarely even have my parents around for a meal and I’m always watching people’s reactions as they walk in the door. I’m conscious of not meeting some ridiculous standard of perfection. All. The. Time.

I also have no inclination to exercise beyond the incidental 10,000 steps I do each day; none of us is fit – but apparently that’s a capital offense too.

And, there’s the new issue of having been separated for over two years of – why are you still single, have you met anyone yet, time to get online dating, he’s got a new girlfriend, why haven’t you…

And dammit,this all bugs me. I’m 49 years old and pretty damned happy with the way my life is panning out, the boys are well-adjusted and make me very proud (mostly because, kids), I love my work and I have great friends and enough of a social life to keep me feeling part of the world. But these things still get to me: why isn’t my house cleaner and tidier; why isn’t my garden looking pristine; why aren’t we all fit and gorgeous; why can’t I really be bothered to be out looking for a new partner?

And why do I care what other people think?

Karyn Wills

Karyn is a teacher, writer and solo mother to three sons. She lives in the sunny wine region of Hawke’s Bay, New Zealand in the city of Napier.

More Posts

TANZANIA: Terrible Thirties – A Tale of Separation Anxiety

Separation anxiety

My Name is Nancy and I am experiencing, after more than six years of motherhood, a terrible case of separation anxiety. We are used to our toddlers give us hell with this – it is, after all, expected during the terrible twos. But you may call mine a case of the “terrible thirties.”

I have never had to leave my baby, (she doesn’t agree with the baby part) for longer than a week. That week, might I add, was the toughest week ever. I am so fortunate that my job requires minimal travel. Each year, I travel for just a few days to get things done, and hurry back, super lightning speed, to be reunited with my family.

Those brief work trips are hard. I suffer everything from insomnia, to hearing my daughter’s voice in my head, to general feelings of self loathing and sadness. I could really kick myself because it’s ridiculous. She is 6! Surely that’s old enough for me, and for her. Why can’t I get over my separation anxiety? Does traveling have to give me such dread? Why is it never the same without them?

I recently got a fantastic opportunity to be a part of an academic fellowship across the pond, I mean waaayyy across, that will require me to be away for most of the summer holidays. While it a great opportunity for myself, the first thing I felt was pure dread. Dread that I have to leave my husband and my baby behind for what seems to be an eternity.

Ladies, please tell me I am not going crazy and some of you also feel this way at times? Is it impossible to put ourselves first?

This is an original post written for World Moms Blog by Nancy Sumari in Tanzania. Image courtesy of the author.