SINGAPORE: Less Stress, More Joy

SINGAPORE: Less Stress, More Joy

JoyAs a mum, some days I need a reminder to have more joy in my life. Because if I were to describe how I feel these days, it’s exhausted, tired, cranky, stressed up with my tank running low on joy.

Sure motherhood is a joy. But there are days when it can be so tiring and testing that its sucks the life out of me. It doesn’t help that my four-year-old is somehow just like me, stubborn and obstinate so when I go tough on her, it does nothing but make her comply.

Just last night, I had to raise my voice when my little one still refused to sleep at 11pm. No wonder no amount of miracle eye cream is working at erasing my panda eyes.

The truth about Motherhood is that it’s a relentless giving of self.

Without starting a working mum versus stay at home mum war, we all have untold stories of how it can be a struggle to juggle work, home, marriage and the kids. And like what I tell many people, work simply never ends. After 9 hours of work at the office,  I clock in another good 4-5 hours of work doing the cooking, washing, playing, teaching, reading, mothering in general. And while there can be sweet moments, such as when my daughter shows me a picture she’s drawn for me or tells me stories about what happened in school. There is also the nagging because she simply don’t care for bedtime or the mess she creates after playing, painting, and, yes, when she refuses to sleep …

Yes, that’s motherhood, and it probably will be like that for a good 5, 10 or 20 years of life …

But I know that this is not just the story of my life. It is the same story for most mums, regardless, if you have one child or three! Many, like me, are probably dealing with bedtime woes, battles, sibling rivalry and don’t even get me started about the dishes and laundry that are threatening to topple.

I know I’m not alone. You are not alone, too. Even on days when it feels like you’re dragging your feet to get around from being so sleep deprived and when the kids are banging on the toilet door and all you want to do is hide inside.

You. are. not. alone.

So here’s a reminder

  • Take deep breaths
  • Catch cat naps
  • Ask for help
  • Do something you enjoy
  • Have less stress and more joy by focusing on the long-term

I know it’s hard, that’s why most of us get so caught up in the day to day madness. But after hearing stories from those with grown up children, I think there is a silver lining…

As for sleep. Who needs it anyway…

Okay, I take it back, I need my coffee now!

How do you deal with the stress of motherhood? What are your tips to stay joyful?

This is an original post by Susan Koh for World Moms Blog. She’s loves to travel and blogs passionately about parenting, marriage and relationship and leading a healthy life at www.ajugglingmom.com.

Photo credit to the author.

Susan Koh

Susan is from Singapore. As a full-time working mom, she's still learning to perfect the art of juggling between career and family while leading a happy and fulfilled life. She can't get by a day without coffee and swears she's no bimbo even though she likes pink and Hello Kitty. She's loves to travel and blogs passionately about parenting, marriage and relationship and leading a healthy life at A Juggling Mom.

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SINGAPORE: Celebrating Valentine’s Day as Parents

SINGAPORE: Celebrating Valentine’s Day as Parents

World Moms, Susan Koh with her family

World Moms, Susan Koh with her family

We’re just a day away from February 14, Valentine’s Day. And like most moms, we’ve probably stopped celebrating this overrated and grossly commercialized day. In fact for most moms, it’s likely going to be like any another regular day where we send the kids off at school, rush off to work then pick them up before dinner where the whole madness begins at home with the chores, schoolwork and all.

Maybe if we’re lucky, we get a Valentine’s Day card. As for flowers and a romantic dinner set up for two, that’s something to dream about… when your head hits the pillow that is. So is this still a day worth celebrating?

I’ll say yes because we could all use a reminder that we are all wives before we became a mom.

As moms, our lives are often caught up by the day to day demands of our kids that there is hardly any time left for our spouses. And if we do get any pockets of free time, we rather choose sleep anytime. But just like plants, marriages are to be cared for and nurtured in order to blossom and bloom. And while we may not want to get sucked into celebrating Valentine’s Day, it certainly is a day we could use to show our appreciation or do something special for our husbands.

I remember that on our 7th wedding anniversary last year, we celebrated it in an unconventional way by going to a water theme park. We felt like teenagers all  over again, holding hands and laughing away as we rushed from one water slide to another, each one more exciting than the previous one.  We giggled and had so much fun that day and till now, that day still holds so much memories for me. One of the things I said to my husband is that I want us to remember that we’re husband and wife as much as we’re a mummy and daddy because that’s how this family started off as.

Some simple ways we show that we love each other is going on lunch dates since date nights are a little harder to arrange. Texting each other just to say I’m thinking of you. Always showing appreciation for the big and small things and showing our daughter that we are still very much in love with each other.  

And I’m so thankful that while I’m putting my husband first, he’s also doing the same because of this quote that he came across.

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.

It’s not too late to plan a little something special for Valentine’s Day. In fact, if you are a practical one, everyday can be Valentine’s Day. Happy Valentine’s Day!

What are your Valentine’s Day plans as a parent? And how has was it different before you became a parent?

This is an original post by Susan Koh for World Moms Blog. She’s loves to travel and blogs passionately about parenting, marriage and relationship and leading a healthy life at www.ajugglingmom.com.

Photo credit to the author.

Susan Koh

Susan is from Singapore. As a full-time working mom, she's still learning to perfect the art of juggling between career and family while leading a happy and fulfilled life. She can't get by a day without coffee and swears she's no bimbo even though she likes pink and Hello Kitty. She's loves to travel and blogs passionately about parenting, marriage and relationship and leading a healthy life at A Juggling Mom.

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SINGAPORE: Less Stuff, More Life

SINGAPORE: Less Stuff, More Life

Mother Theresa quoteEver felt like you have way too much stuff in your life? I do and it’s causing me unnecessary stress.

I’m a little embarrassed to admit, but I’m a hoarder. I keep cereal boxes and even toilet rolls thinking that I’ll use them for craft work with my daughter, someday, someday…

Plus I’m a huge sucker for pretty home decoration and knick knacks. I also believe that a girl can never has too many pairs of shoes and a wardrobe should be well equipped for just about any occasion. And it doesn’t help that I have itchy fingers that like to dabble in new craft projects every now and then (my latest pet project is December Daily and I’m embarking on Project Life). And as a result, my house is threatening to burst at the sides…

And so for my 2014 New Year resolution, my new mantra is “Less Stuff, More Life“.

My husband was more than happy when I shared this with him. I thought I even saw his thought bubble with a huge, “It’s about time!” complete with a huge exclamation mark.

While it may be too early for New Year resolutions, it’s a good idea to think about what you want for yourself in the brand new year. I’m resolving to be intentional and purposeful with my life, time and energy. That would also means that

I will have to say no to some things in my life so that I can make space for things that truly matter.

I’m making a choice to do things that will add joy and contentment to eliminate stress and tiredness so that I can enjoy more life and go the distance.

Gifting the gift of an experience

And on that note, I’m doing something different for this Christmas. Instead of giving presents all wrapped up in a box and fancy paper, I’m choosing to give friends and family the gift of an experience. In our society, most people around me don’t need anything (though they may have plenty of wants). And I think what will make it meaningful is to gift them an experience be it a cooking class, a play or maybe even a meal lovingly prepared for them.

Here are some ideas I came up for my own gift giving:

  • For a child, a membership to the zoo, or field trip. Even a membership at an indoor playground will be received.
  • For a spouse, love coupons for monthly, or up it to weekly, dates. Or how about a spa package that you both can enjoy? 🙂 And if they like the arts, then a play, musical, concert or even movie treat will be much appreciated.
  • For a friend who’s also a parent, a night of babysitting will be so so appreciated.
  • For a coffee fan, a list of new cafes that have popped up so that they can go cafe hopping.

And since my hubby’s birthday is before Christmas, he’s the first recipient of my experience gift! I can’t wait to surprise him with what’s in store.

Have you finished all your Christmas shopping? If not, perhaps you’ll like to rethink your gifts and challenge yourself to think out of the box and give someone an experience rather than a wrapped up gift. Let me know how it works out, if you do!

This is an original post to World Moms Blog by World Moms Blog contributor, Susan Koh, of Singapore. 

Photo credit to World Moms Blog. 

Susan Koh

Susan is from Singapore. As a full-time working mom, she's still learning to perfect the art of juggling between career and family while leading a happy and fulfilled life. She can't get by a day without coffee and swears she's no bimbo even though she likes pink and Hello Kitty. She's loves to travel and blogs passionately about parenting, marriage and relationship and leading a healthy life at A Juggling Mom.

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SINGAPORE : Being your child’s greatest role model

SINGAPORE : Being your child’s greatest role model

Role modelI’m pretty confident when I say I have most things under control at home. But when it comes to driving, that’s where I fail miserably. I got my driving license 10 years years ago, and by right, driving to me should be easy peasy by now. But just like teaching a child to ride a bike, we all know that practice makes perfect. And that sums up why I’m so lousy at it because no drive equals no practice.

Over the weekends, I had to drive. Had to because my dear husband extracted two of his wisdom teeth and was feeling very uncomfortable behind the wheels. So as his wife, here’s when I have to rise to the occasion to relieve him. So I agreed to take over, grudgingly.

My little back seat driver was observing me and parroting Alexis’s instructions to me to slow down, drive straight, don’t turn so fast. Sensing that I was getting more and more frustrated as I drove, she told me,  “Mummy, don’t drive until so angry. Just drive. Drive slowly okay.” In my head, I thinking that having her in the car is such a bad idea as she’s seeing the worst of me.

At some point when I have to manuveour between changing gears and the hand brakes to go up a slope, I nearly burst out crying and exclaimed exasperatedly at my husband and child, “I’m trying, I trying my best ok!” (more…)

Susan Koh

Susan is from Singapore. As a full-time working mom, she's still learning to perfect the art of juggling between career and family while leading a happy and fulfilled life. She can't get by a day without coffee and swears she's no bimbo even though she likes pink and Hello Kitty. She's loves to travel and blogs passionately about parenting, marriage and relationship and leading a healthy life at A Juggling Mom.

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SINGAPORE:  Interview with A Juggling Mom

SINGAPORE: Interview with A Juggling Mom

Susan Koh Author World Moms Blog

Where in the world do you live? And, are you from there?
I was born and raised in Singapore and have lived here all my life. Although I live in the smallest country in Southeast Asia, I take pride at the vast progress that we’ve achieved. At the same time, I’m humbled to live in a city where it’s a melting pot of different cultures, fueling my passion to travel to learn more about different cultures.

What language(s) do you speak?

English is my first language. I also speak Mandarin, and dialects such as Cantonese and Hokkien. Oh and I also speak baby language 🙂

When did you first become a mother?
I became a mom at 29 years old in August 2009 which also happens to be our National Day or Independence Day!

Are you a stay-at-home mom or do you work outside the home?

I’m a full time working mom and made this choice consciously as I believe that it’s possible to balance family and a career. Though I’ve had my ups and downs especially in the initial years, I don’t regret it and hope to inspire other moms to find work life balance. (more…)

Susan Koh

Susan is from Singapore. As a full-time working mom, she's still learning to perfect the art of juggling between career and family while leading a happy and fulfilled life. She can't get by a day without coffee and swears she's no bimbo even though she likes pink and Hello Kitty. She's loves to travel and blogs passionately about parenting, marriage and relationship and leading a healthy life at A Juggling Mom.

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