A while ago, when my toddler son was playing in our neighborhood playground, another child said to him, “Trump will kick you out of here when he becomes President.”
It happened during the afternoon of hot summer’s day. My three-year-old bumped into an older child—probably five or six years old—when going down a slide. As much as I was tempted to defend my own child, I had to admit that it was his fault. I thought that I needed to remind him to apologize.
As I was walking up I heard, “Trump will kick you out of here when he becomes President.”
I froze in spite of the high temperature. It took me several seconds to realize that it was the other child who had spoken these words.
I wanted to ask, “I beg your pardon?”
I wanted to ask, “Why would you say that?”
I wanted to ask, “Do you believe that anyone should be kicked out of here?”
But before I could say anything, my son looked up at me and said, “Mama, I want to go home.”
So we left. I looked back a couple of times, trying to find the child’s parents. I didn’t, and I did not know what I would have done if I had found them.
My son was silent all the way home. Anyone who didn’t know him that well would have simply thought that he was tired. I drove, waiting for him to ask questions, but he didn’t.
So I broke the silence and said, “You know, you should say ‘sorry’ when bumping into other people.”
“Yes, mama.”
“And, you know, this is our home. No one is going to kick us out of here.”
“Okay, mama.”
It was too hard to continue the conversation, so I stopped there. We went back to silence, and I hated myself for not being able to come up with anything better to say.
When it comes to unfriendly comments about immigrants and minority groups, many Asian American people, including me, often have an illusion of “safety”. Trump has accused Hispanic American of bringing crimes;he has called Muslims terrorists. But hey, we are Asian Americans. We are quiet and shy, we do our math and science, we hurt nobody, we don’t even attract attention. Anyway, Trump said that he “had a very good relationship with China” right before having that crying baby ejected at one of his rallies!
But what happened in the playground in that afternoon taught me a lesson: when a hate movement and white nationalism becomes the mainstream, everyone can be a victim. Even a three-year-old boy can be threatened in his neighborhood playground.
My son was quiet for the whole evening. At the dinner table his dad noticed and asked, “Are you okay, buddy?”
“I want to go to bed now.”
He insisted that I sleep with him. I laid on his toddler bed with him. Just when I thought he was falling asleep, he asked, “Mama, who’s Drump?”
“Trump? He is a businessman. He is running for President.”
“Will he become the President?”
“Not necessarily.”
I got up and showed him the book “Hard Choices” with Hillary Clinton’s portrait on the cover. I was hired to translate the book into Mandarin Chinese when it published in 2014. “This grandma is also running for president, and one of them will become President.”
“Will she let us stay here?”
“Oh baby! We are American, and we’ll stay here as long as we want, no matter who becomes the President.”
I was telling the truth. Both my husband and I came to the States as international students. He earned his PhD in computer engineering from NC State University and I earned my Master’s degree in broadcast journalism from Boston University. We eventually naturalized through H1B working visas and EB2 green cards, which requires an advanced degree and exceptional ability. We’ve been calling America home and contributing to this country for more than a decade, and I honestly don’t think anyone can legally “kick” us out of here, not even Trump.
What worries me is that this kind of hate speech will hurt our family and our children, turning our country into a place that is no longer suitable for living in.
We’ve all heard Trump’s supporters shouting violent words and making crazy statements at the Presidential hopeful’s rallies, but it feels different when such words comes out of a young child’s mouth. I wonder if he really knew what he was talking about.
Either way, he certainly made it clear what Trump’s brand of hate is doing to this country. In spite of the frustration, I still hope for a hate free society to come. So vote wisely. It’s not about political correctness. It’s about being a decent human being.
Has your child been the target of discrimination at the hands of another child? How did you handle it?
This is an original post to World Moms Network by To-Wen Tseng of the United States. Photo credit: Mu-huan Chiang.
Wow, that’s both awful and terribly sad. Children are cruel to anyone or anything that they perceive to be different from them. I was 8 years old when my family emigrated from Italy to South Africa. Apartheid was still in place, so all the children in my Primary School were “white”, yet that didn’t stop them from bullying me and hitting me every chance they got, because I couldn’t speak English and wasn’t good at sports. I used to spend recess sitting outside the Headmistress’s office for protection, because that was the only way I could avoid getting attacked. 🙁 I eventually learnt English and started hitting back, so they backed off a bit, but school was hell for me. My parents were oblivious to my pain and never did anything to help the situation (even when the Headmistress called them to tell them about the constant bullying).
Due to my experiences as a child, I was “tiger mom” when it came to my own children. I thought I was helping by being involved in the Primary School they attended. My daughter is now 20 years old and (only now) she told me that it was actually *worse* for her that I got involved! Darned if you do and darned if you don’t. 🙁 Sadly there’s no “good” answer to this. In SA “white” people are the minority group, yet we still get blamed for all of our society’s problems. It’s awful when intolerance comes from the top. 🙁 All we can do is pray that Trump doesn’t become president because we certainly don’t want any more of his rhetoric infecting even more innocent children. 🙁 Good luck and fingers crossed! xoxo
Thank you for sharing your experience, Simona. Your story is both heartbreaking and inspiring. Heartbreaking for you had to experience such terrible things at such a young age. Inspiring for you turned out to be a great woman, which cheers me and teaches me that in spite of the awful experiences, my son can turn out to be a great man. Thanks again!
It’s hard to see kids being so cruel To-Wen Even harder to know that they are copying what their relatives do or think. I was bullied as a child and my parents always stood by my side. I would do the same for my kid. I can’t stand lack of tolerance or any form of harassment.
In France, it’s all about racism and from time to time I wonder whether my child will be a victim of it one day, as he comes from a bicultural background.
Praying that Donald Trump does not find its way to the White House. Praying for all Americans, for Peace. Praying for you and your little one.
Thank you for the warm words, Marie. I really think it’d be a disaster if Trump makes his way to White House, not only for our country but also for our planet.
As an American it makes me sad and shake my head that this type of ignorance is spreading from the Presidential campaign to the playground, To-wen. Thank you for sharing your story with the world! It needs to be heard.
The whole thing really bothers me. Writing this post give me a feeling that I’m doing something about it; actually I’m not. I don’t even know what to tell my child. Now I just hope she wins so that I can tell my son “hate never wins.”