My dearest son,

Being your mom has brought me tremendous joy, but also challenges. Many times, I worry about bringing you up well enough to reach your highest potential. I see other moms and feel like I am lacking.

Taking a deep breath I remind myself this is not a test. As much as it is my job to teach you, this is your life and your responsibility to be your best. I am here to grow with you.

I’m not the best mom in the world (though I’m blessed to know you think I am).

I hope you know that I am doing my best. I hope to teach you what I feel is most important to become a fine young man and live a wonderful life.

Be yourself.

There will always be expectations from people around you, to do certain things or behave in certain ways.

You are one-of-a-kind; born with a unique combination of gifts and talents. Seek to know who you are and have the courage to be true. Don’t compare yourself to others.

Don’t be afraid to dance to a different tune.

After some unconventional choices in my life, becoming a mom has made conscious of decisions I’ve made. I hope my life will show you that it is ok to not follow the crowd. There are no fixed rules or formulas for success. We must each find our own way, and that can only come from self-awareness.

Forget about trying to fit into a mold. Pursue your passion and live a life that brings you joy, meaning and fulfillment. Blaze your own trail.

The author Ruth and her son

Don’t just be a successful man, be a great man.

Most of us desire to be successful, and enjoy a good life. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I hope that you will also aim to be a great man. Be a man of courage, integrity, strong values and compassion, make a difference in the world. Show love and respect to others; don’t judge those who are different. Learn to appreciate. Life is not a competition, it’s a journey and we all need the company.

Be responsible for your happiness and your feelings

It’s not someone else’s job to make you happy. It all starts with the decisions and choices you make.

You can choose to let the words and actions of others affect you, or you can forgive, let go, and reclaim your joy. It’s important to acknowledge how you feel and choose to be in a positive, uplifting state.

Feelings are nothing to be scared of. They are only scary when you don’t know how to deal with them. We can learn how to positively manage and express feelings; learn to respond appropriately to others.

Feelings serve a purpose; listen to the messages they bring about any situation. When we acknowledge our feelings, we are opening the door to possibilities. Never suppress your feelings; it isn’t good for your health and wellbeing. You can be both strong and sensitive, and that will make you a wonderful man.

Failure is part of success.

Success takes effort, determination and courage. When you don’t succeed at first, don’t think that you are a failure. Instead, lean all you can from the experience.

Believe in yourself. If you persevere, you will succeed.

Success is an inside-out process

Success is an inside-out process. Your thoughts and beliefs determine your level of success. If you don’t have a strong inner state, success will be short-lived.

Focus on you inner game. Expand your consciousness to create a belief system that will support your outer success.

Be Thankful

Gratitude is an important ingredient to joy and success in life.

When we live with a sense of gratitude, we will naturally feel happier. There’s less need for comparison; we gain a balanced view about life, especially during challenging times. Focusing on the good helps us develop a positive mindset, which is the foundation to living a happy and successful life.

Appreciate responsibility

As you grow older, you will have more responsibilities. I hope you’ll learn to see beyond the tasks I give you and realize that you are only given them because I trust that you can do a good job.

Take responsibility for your actions and choices. You make a decision about something; you must bear the consequences. Don’t blame others when things don’t turn out. Appreciate the responsibility that comes with making choices. If the decision turns out poorly, learn from it. In the future, you will be able to make better decisions.

Learn how to communicate well

In life, everything is about relations. You need to be able to share your thoughts and ideas in order to achieve your goals. Learn to speak and write well.

Communicating is not just about speaking. It also means learning to listen. Communication is a two-way process. Pay attention to someone when they speak, look them in the eyes, acknowledge with simple gestures like a nod or smile. By doing that, you are showing respect.

One of the reasons I am so strict about you using smartphones is because I want you to first learn good communication skills.

Let’s grow together

Love, Mom

 

What things would you like to teach your children about life? What things about your own life would you like them to learn from?

This is an original article by Ruth Wong for World Mom’s Blog

Ruth

Ruth lives in Singapore, a tiny island 137 kilometres north of the equator. After graduating from university, she worked as a medical social worker for a few years before making a switch to HR and worked in various industries such as retail, banking and manufacturing. In spite of the invaluable skills and experiences she had gained during those years, she never felt truly happy or satisfied. It was only when she embarked on a journey to rediscover her strengths and passion that this part of her life was transformed. Today, Ruth is living her dreams as a writer. Ironically, she loves what she does so much that at one point, she even thought that becoming a mom would hinder her career. Thanks to her husband’s gentle persuasions, she now realises what joy she would have missed out had she not changed her mind. She is now a happy WAHM. Ruth launched MomME Circle, a resource site to support and inspire moms to create a life and business they love. She has a personal blog Mommy Café where she writes about her son's growing up and shares her interests such as food and photography.

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