SOUTH AFRICA: Surviving the Turmoil

SOUTH AFRICA: Surviving the Turmoil

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I recently read a very thought-provoking post by a fellow #WorldMom with the title of My Frame World. In it, she wrote,

The manageable reality is my reference, a framework to enable me to keep functioning. It enables me to get up at a quarter past seven to cut some pieces of imported mango for my precious children. To sigh when looking at overflowing laundry baskets. To nag about an energy-devouring meeting that took longer than expected. It’s the framework that’s keeping me whole. The Frame World.

She ended her post with the question: “How do you deal with the discrepancy between your own private life and the tragedies around it? Does your Frame World help keeping you sane or is it rather keeping you from acting?”

I’ve been sitting with the abovementioned questions for a while, because they deserve a serious answer. It made me think about how we’re all first and foremost mothers. As such, our first duty is to protect our own children to the best of our ability, and to raise them to become contributing members of our society . My late grandfather always said; “Charity begins at home”.

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I was born in Rome, Italy. My family emigrated to Cape Town, South Africa, when I was 8 years old. My husband’s family emigrated here when he was 5 years old. Both of our families were thinking that Italy was doomed, and that South Africa was the “Promised Land”. We grew up here, met and married here, and raised our children in “The Mother City”. 

I love this country and this city, but lately the tragedies have hit very close to home. South Africa is currently in turmoil.

Municipal elections will be held this year and (like every other election year) the violent protests have become so commonplace that they’re not even really considered “newsworthy” any more, which is sad. The violence makes many people afraid to speak out. From my experience, caucasians are afraid to speak out against the ethnic majority, when it comes to any government issue, in fear of being labeled racist.

The wounds of Apartheid are still very raw in our country, and inequality still exists. Even though the ethnic majority and ruling party have been in power for over 20 years, the road to repair the wrongs of the past is long and winding, and the ride is bumpy. We are experiencing the growing pains of bringing South Africa to a true equality. The weight of a pendulum swings from side to side until it achieves equilibrium. I can’t help but feel that South Africa is still a swinging pendulum as it seeks equality for all of its people.

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So how do I deal with the discrepancy between my own private life and the tragedies around it? The same way that a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.

I have learnt that I need to pace myself because if I burn myself out, it doesn’t help anyone. There’s a reason why air hostesses always say that you need to secure your own oxygen mask first, before trying to assist anyone else!

I also make constant use of The Serenity Prayer (God, please grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference). I’m not always wise, but I know that I am doing the best that I can, and that must be enough, because nobody can do more than their best!

Mother Teresa has been quoted as saying; “Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”

That is how I deal with the fact that the needs of the world are so immense, that they can become completely overwhelming, if you let them. Like the little boy throwing starfish back into the ocean – he made a difference to that one, and that is good enough.

So I pick small things that I can do with great love, and I do that. I also decided to concentrate all my fundraising efforts to one charity that is very close to my heart: www.cupcakesofhope.org. We raise awareness of the early warning signs of childhood cancer. The money raised is used to help the families affected by childhood cancer with whatever they might need.

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In the end, though, I survive the turmoil by being grateful.

Grateful to be part of this amazing community of World Moms, who have become my Soul Sisters around the world. Grateful for my 19 year old daughter and 23 year old son who make me so proud. Grateful for my husband of over 25 years who takes such good care of me and our family when I’m not able to, due to my health issues. Grateful that I have a roof over my head and food to spare. Grateful for every “good day” that follows a “bad pain day.” I could go on and on. You see, I’ve learnt that nothing can make you feel better than feeling grateful for even the smallest thing.

When you start noticing how many things you actually have to be grateful for, it gives you the strength to deal with anything life throws at you!

What are you grateful for? What helps you deal with turmoil in your life?

This is an original post for World Moms Blog by Mamma Simona from Cape Town, South Africa.

Photo credits: Image of inked thumb courtesy of Darryn van der Walt / Flickr. Image of Nelson Mandela statue courtesy of Everyman Films / Flickr. Image of Cape Town via David Stanley / Flickr. Image of South African flag courtesy of flowcomm / Flickr

Mamma Simona (South Africa)

Mamma Simona was born in Rome (Italy) but has lived in Cape Town (South Africa) since she was 8 years old. She studied French at school but says she’s forgotten most of it! She speaks Italian, English and Afrikaans. Even though Italian is the first language she learned, she considers English her "home" language as it's the language she's most comfortable in. She is happily married and the proud mother of 2 terrific teenagers! She also shares her home with 2 cats and 2 dogs ... all rescues. Mamma Simona has worked in such diverse fields as Childcare, Tourism, Library Services, Optometry, Sales and Admin! (With stints of SAHM in-between). She’s really looking forward to the day she can give up her current Admin job and devote herself entirely to blogging and (eventually) being a full-time grandmother!

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PHILIPPINES: The Value of Grandparents

PHILIPPINES: The Value of Grandparents

I don’t know if many people will agree to this but we Filipinos are known for having close-knit family ties, wherever we might be located in the world.

We cherish our relationships with the members of our family, and love spending time together — eating, chatting, laughing, even singing together (even if we sound off-key)! One of the relationships that I personally treasure is the one I have with my own parents — and, in effect, the relationship my kids have with them.

You see, growing up, I wasn’t able to spend much time with my own grandparents. My parents, like many Filipinos I know — were what we call “OFWs” or overseas Filipino workers. They worked for the Brunei government for many years, thankfully, my siblings and I were allowed to join them.

Because of our situation though, we would only see our relatives, including our grandparents, during the times when we would go home to the Philippines. So I didn’t really get to have many bonding moments with them, unlike my cousins (and my older siblings, who went home to the Philippines for further studies).

Fast forward to the present time. My grandparents on both sides have already passed away (and oh, how I miss them). I am also a mother now, with kids of my own, who absolutely love being with their grandparents!

In fact, they are thrilled every time they are allowed to sleepover at my parents’ place, and I am happy about it too. They get to build lasting bonds with their lolo (grandfather) and lola (grandmother), plus play with their cousins, because my brother and his family live with my parents.

It’s a win-win situation actually, my kids and my parents get to strengthen their relationships with one another, and this mama gets some “time off” (though now, with the newest addition to our family, it’s not really “time off,” if you get what I mean!).

I know not many families are as blessed as mine is — to have grandparents around who are always there to help out with the grandkids, and this post isn’t meant to make anyone feel bad. It’s primarily to emphasize the value of the grandparents in our lives… and I guess, indirectly, the value of the elderly in general. The generations before us — those who are wiser and know better.

On a personal level, this one actually goes out to my kids’ grandparents, especially my parents. You see, our family has been having our share of trials lately, especially after our youngest was born, and my mom and dad have been our strongest allies, supporters and prayer warriors. Honestly, I don’t know how we could have “survived” the past few months without them!

So yes, if you’re reading this, and your parents (your kids’ grandparents) are still with you, I encourage you to find ways, even simple ones, to tell them how much you value them. Even if it’s difficult to do so. Even if you don’t feel like it. Don’t wait till the last minute — till someone is on their deathbed — to speak of love, forgiveness and gratitude. Realize the value of grandparents, and help your kids do so, too. It could possibly be one of the greatest lessons you’ll teach them.

How is the relationship of your children with their grandparents?

Picture Credit: Author

Tina Santiago-Rodriguez (Philippines)

Tina Santiago-Rodriguez is a wife and homeschool mom by vocation, a licensed physical therapist by education and currently the managing editor of Mustard, a Catholic children's magazine published by Shepherd's Voice Publications in the Philippines, by profession. She has been writing passionately since her primary school years in Brunei, and contributes regularly to several Philippine and foreign-based online and print publications. She also does sideline editing and scriptwriting jobs, when she has the time. Find out more about Tina through her personal blogs: Truly Rich Mom and Teacher Mama Tina.

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WORLD VOICE: ISIS And Birth Control

WORLD VOICE: ISIS And Birth Control

 

By BetteDavisEyes at English Wikipedia [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

 

Sex trafficking has been a huge issue in developing countries and an alarming issue has surfaced with regard to ISIS fighters and women they’ve captured. It has come to light that ISIS fighters use birth control to continue raping their captives.

A recent article has uncovered that women who are taken by ISIS become sex slaves. These young girls are part of the Yazidi religious minority who have been taken from their homes in northern Iraq to essentially provide sex for their captors, at any time. What’s even more disturbing is that young girls who are captured are being forced to take birth control pills to avoid getting pregnant. The origins of this unbelievable method stems from an old Islamic law, whereby a man has to ensure that his victim is not pregnant before having intercourse with her.

The reason behind dispensing birth control to these girls is to allow these fighters to share or sell the girls without the risk of any pregnancy. The fighters dispense oral or injectable contraception, or sometimes both, to ensure that no girl could get pregnant.

In the case of M., a sixteen year old victim whose captor was not convinced that she was not pregnant after being questioned, forced her to ingest a version of the morning-after pill by one of her buyers, which caused her to bleed. In addition, he injected a dose of Depo-Provera, an injectable contraceptive, on her thigh, to further ensure she would not get pregnant, before proceeding to rape her. What is surprising is that out of the 700 victims who have been treated for rape, only 5% have gotten pregnant while they were enslaved.

One of the ways women could get around this obscure law was a period of sexual abstinence by the captors during a woman’s menstrual cycle. This was an option that was deemed acceptable by the Islamic law, but not all Islamic fighters followed the rule and some were unaware of it or chose to ignore it. These women never know if their suffering from these men will result in more rapes or abandonment once they’re deemed as useless.

The plight of these women are filled with so much pain and suffering. It is unconscionable that these women be treated like animals to be shared or disposed of once their purpose has been met. As a Mom who can’t imagine the danger and barbarism they are subjected to daily, I can only pray that they escape their situation without further damage to their physical, mental and emotional psyche.

To view the original article that inspired this post here.

Had you heard this story? What do you make of it?

This is an original Post written for World Moms Blog by Tes Silverman of PinayPerspective

Photo Credit: By BetteDavisEyes at English Wikipedia [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Tes Silverman

Tes Silverman was born in Manila, Philippines and has been a New Yorker for over 30 years. Moving from the Philippines to New York opened the doors to the possibility of a life of writing and travel. Before starting a family, she traveled to Iceland, Portugal, Belgium, and France, all the while writing about the people she met through her adventures. After starting a family, she became a freelance writer for publications such as Newsday’s Parents & Children and various local newspapers. Fifteen years ago, she created her blog, The Pinay Perspective. PinayPerspective.com is designed to provide women of all ages and nationalities the space to discuss the similarities and differences on how we view life and the world around us. As a result of her blog, she has written for BlogHer.com and has been invited to attend and blog about the Social Good Summit and Mom+Social Good. In addition, she is a World Voice Editor for World Moms Network and was Managing Editor for a local grass roots activism group, ATLI(Action Together Long Island). Currently residing in Virginia Beach, VA with her husband, fourteen year-old Morkie and a three year old Lab Mix, she continues to write stories of women and children who make an impact in their communities and provide them a place to vocalize their passions.

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SCOTLAND: A Land Of Beauty

SCOTLAND: A Land Of Beauty

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Edinburgh Castle

Scotland is the northernmost country in the U.K. and its peoples, who have included Picts, Gaels and Scots, have a rich and colourful history. Many people have heard of Macbeth, King of Scots (the Eleventh Century monarch who was immortalised by Shakespeare), and Mary, Queen of Scots (famous for having been executed in 1587 by her cousin Elizabeth who was Queen of England at the time). Hadrian’s Wall, which stretches for 73 miles right across the north of England from East to West gives an sense of what Scotland was like during the Roman invasions. It was built by the Roman Emperor Hadrian between 122 and 128 AD to “separate Romans from barbarians” as the Caledonians (collective name for the southern Scottish tribal clans) were impossible to subdue.

Thankfully, today’s Scotland is much more hospitable place and has a well-earned reputation as a beautiful country full of mountains, glens (valleys) and lochs (Scottish name for lakes) although much of its green beauty comes from a fair amount of rain!

Scotland is known around the World as ‘the home of golf’ and there are over 550 courses throughout the country, the most famous being the 16th century Old Course at St Andrews.

Scotland’s population is small at only around 5.3 million and approximately 3.5 million people live in the ‘Central Belt’ which is an area running from East to West between Edinburgh, Scotland’s capital, and Glasgow, the country’s largest city, which hosted the Commonwealth Games in 2014. The Central Belt covers only an eighth of the total land mass of the country so there are many parts of Scotland which remain very unpopulated and remote. The North of the country has the wildest, harshest and most remote environments within the British Isles and there are many areas which are completely uninhabited, although it was not always the case. Many parts of the Scottish Highlands were once well populated and over half Scotland’s population lived in the Highlands prior to 1750, but people were driven out to make way for sheep farming during the notorious Highland Clearances in the late 18th Century.

Wester Ross

Wester Ross

Nowadays it is possible to walk for days through places such as the Cairngorm mountain range without seeing any civilisation and, further north, Letterewe is one of the largest areas in Western Europe with absolutely no civilisation, not even a road, nor any mobile phone connection! Some areas are now so remote and unvisited that crossing them in winter would be as risky as crossing the Canadian Arctic or Siberian wastes.

(See – Search and go: Getting lost in the Scottish wilderness- http://www.searchandgo.com/articles/recreation/scottish-wilderness-1.php)

The Scotland of today is certainly a very interesting place to live and raise children, especially in terms of the political scene. For instance, the three main parties in Scotland are led by women and it is the only place in the world where the majority of party leaders (four out of the six parties) identify as LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender). That said, only 46 out 129 members of the Scottish Parliament are women, many of whom have no children.

In fact, none of the female party leaders have children and I think this shows that our society and the parliamentary system need to change a lot before women enjoy the same opportunities as men – i.e. the ability to juggle family and work life without compromising their status at work.

Glenfinnan Viaduct

Glenfinnan Viaduct

In terms of the political scene, Scotland has had its own devolved parliament since 1999 and the Scottish Parliament looks after many devolved matters such as health, education, justice and policing. Few people outside the country realise that Scotland has had its own legal and education system for centuries. The Scottish legal system is based on Roman Law (rather ironic when you consider that Scotland was a place they couldn’t invade!) and is quite different from the legal system in England which is based on ‘precedent’.

This gives many Scots a very strong sense of identity and of belonging to a Scottish nation, rather than identifying themselves as British, a point which other nations, both in the UK and elsewhere, often find difficult to understand!

The First Minister of Scotland, Nicola Sturgeon, heads the SNP (Scottish National Party). The SNP was founded as a party for an independent Scotland and it has been increasing in popularity, having convincingly won several elections over the past decade. Nicola is the first female leader and she has been popular with many of the electorate, especially young women who view her as a good role model.

The subject of Scottish independence has continued to dominate the UK headlines over the past couple of years despite an independence referendum in September 2014 where 55% of the population voted to stay in the UK. However, people in the UK will soon be asked to vote on whether the UK should remain in the European Union (E.U.) and this has once again raised the question of independence for Scotland. If the vote turns out to be in favour of the UK leaving Europe, the result is likely to prompt another independence referendum in Scotland because the majority of Scots wish to stay part of Europe and many feel that it is undemocratic if Scotland is forced to leave due its being part of the UK. Some people in Scotland who previously voted against independence feel so strongly that we should remain in Europe that they would now be prepared to vote for independence if the UK as a whole votes to leave the E.U. This means there could be a much higher likelihood of an independent Scotland and many people are impatiently awaiting the results of the referendum which takes place on the 23rd of June.

It looks families in Scotland will face an interesting few months!

What are some interesting facts about the country you live in?

This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Judith Nelson of Scotland.

 

USA: A Dinosaur

USA: A Dinosaur

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When I think of my own elementary school experience, I remember recess games and lunch time chats. I remember “round robin” reading and math fact drills. I remember class time and spelling tests, but I also remember having time to play with my friends, and that was one of the highlights of going to school. We were able to have two times a day where we had unstructured recess time to just go outside and have time to play with our friends. (more…)

Meredith (USA)

Meredith finds it difficult to tell anyone where she is from exactly! She grew up in several states, but mainly Illinois. She has a Bachelor of Science degree in Elementary Education from the University of Illinois at Champaign/Urbana which is also where she met her husband. She taught kindergarten for seven years before she adopted her son from Guatemala and then gave birth to her daughter two years leter. She moved to Lagos, Nigeria with her husband and two children in July 2009 for her husband's work. She and her family moved back to the U.S.this summer(August 2012) and are adjusting to life back in the U.S. You can read more about her life in Lagos and her adjustment to being back on her blog: We Found Happiness.

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