Do you remember those movies in which a new family moves into a neighborhood, and one of the neighbors brings them a pie as a welcoming gesture? Maybe you have been the recipient of such a gift, or maybe the giver. Maybe, you have done neither and additionally do not know your neighbors. I must say I have been guilty of not being the pie-bringer, although it always looked so nice and like the joyful & peaceful thing to do.
Over the last two years I have been better at this, but truth be told, my mother would be doing a much better job and by now she would know everyone in half mile radius! There is one neighbor with whom I have a food exchange every so often. He is the one who calls on us and we can call on him when in need of some flour, or bug spray (Florida bugs want their swamp back), or someone to keep an eye out for our teen if we aren’t home when she gets back from school.
A man lives down the road and if it weren’t for his injured dog, we may have never struck a conversation. There is a guy everyone goes to when they need their car washed, gutters cleaned, or lawn mowed for a little money. Down the road there is a sweet older lady with a name that makes you want to know if she is a spy or what intriguing life stories she may have. I haven’t asked her yet, but I will. For now she is my ‘hugging’ neighbor while with all the others I exchange nods, waves, and the occasional, “How do you do?”, and “Just trying to stay out of this heat!” The corner/convenience store is owned by some cool people, whom I would feel safe sending my teen girl to buy groceries from.
That’s really it. My motivation for getting to know my neighbors has realistically been for the safety of my children and my family as a whole.
I want to know we can walk around safely, and that no one would bother my daughter. In the event that a stranger walked on this road, I want to know that my neighbors will intervene on my behalf to ensure my daughter’s safety. I want to know that if she goes to the convenience store on her own, that they will give her exact change if she miscounts.
Ideally I would know all my neighbors. I would have been in their homes at least once if it seemed safe, and if not that, I would at least know their names. So what’s stopped me? Maybe wanting to stay out of people’s business. As a photographer I have become sensitive to people’s want for privacy, and maybe I am spreading that sensitivity to situations that don’t really need it. After all, some people are just camera-shy, but would love to share a recipe, or a story, or know they can come to you if they need their trash bin put on the curb if they won’t be here on trash day.
Maybe getting to know our neighbors is a part of making make the world seem less crazy, technological advances less calculated, and absence of family less cold as the family that neighbors can be brings warmth in our lives. Of course this may be the case if our neighbors aren’t what makes the world a crazy, sad, and maddening place.
How about you and your family – do you know your neighbors well? Do you think there was more emphasis on getting to know your neighbors in years past? Does the type of neighborhood you live in play a factor in whether you get to know the people next door, or make you keep your distance?
Thank you for reading. Please share your thoughts & experiences 🙂
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Sophia. You can find her blogging at Think Say Be and on twitter @ThinkSayBeSNJ.
Photo credit to the author.
We know most of our neighbours by sight and some well, too. We have a well worn track between one house and ours…where an only child often comes to play with my older boys or they go to his house. I love it.
Communities are wonderful.
We don’t have a relationship with our neighbours and I kind of miss that. Most of them are elderly people, which makes that we don’t really have connection. When two new families moved into the block, we made them a welcome card, but never heard anything back.
Conversations are always ackward, and everyone likes to keep to themselves. When I asked one of the neighbours whether his son would want to come play with my kids, he looked very worried and politely rejected the offer.
Our closest neighour is the only one that we have some conversation with, now and then. She is about 90 years old, and we offer her help in her garden occasionaly, and in turn she doesn’t complain when one of our chicken escape to her lawn 😉
Sadly my family and I moved into a new neighbourhood over a year ago and the only contact we’ve had with our neighbours was the next door guy complaining about my dogs barking (shortly after we’d moved in …. previous owners of our house didn’t have pets) and another neighbour who left us a note asking us to trim down a bush that was “blocking her sun”. Neither grateful that we took care of their requests. Don’t know anyone else at all. I’d LOVE to have neighbours as friends, but I don’t have it in me to ring people’s doorbells and ask them if they’d like to socialise! 🙁
I moved into a new neighborhood 3 years ago and promptly walked to each house near ours to introduce myself. It turns out my new next door neighbor also just moved in, and she was also a stay at home mom, and her kids are my kids ages! We have become fast friends, surrogate caretakers of each others little ones, and emergency contacts on all school related lists. Plus after I paid that initial visit, she promptly showed up at my house the next day with a fresh baked crumb cake.
I love that I have community in my neighborhood. I don’t know of a better way to raise our kids!
A few years ago, I wanted to move house. I love mine, but it lacks something. However, I cannot leave my neighborhood. I have discovered the meaning of “It takes a village to raise a child” right where I am. And I am not going to give that up! My neighbors are my friends. They can rely on me and me on them anytime and for anything. And this is just too precious to walk away from.
I just moved into my house a. Few days ago. So I don’t know anyone yet, but anyone whom I have met on the street has been increadibly friendly and welcoming. In the apt building where we lived before, I had a few neighbors that I would consider “acquaintances” who would talk for the few minutes elevator ride up to our floor, and some who I would consider friends, who I could call if I needed something. I am going to miss living in an apt building for this reason – but hopefully we meet some neighbors in my new house whom I can consider “freinds”. 🙂
In Japan, there is a tradition of giving some kind of present to your neighbors when you move in, so we initially met some neighbors that way. (The people downstairs are kid haters and always complaining. I want my cookies back!) Once my oldest started school, he (and I) were suddenly thrust into the neighborhood children’s group. They have an activity and park cleaning once a month. The obligation to lead activities is a pain, tbh, but it has been great getting to know the other parents.
We live in an apartment block, with rotating duties to the neighborhood association. Last year was our turn. In most families, the wives attend, but since I was leading the children’s group, my husband agreed to go. Imagine my surprise when he became president of the association! It was a long year, filled with crazy paperwork and him being gone to meetings most weekends. But now he knows an awful lot of people from our block and beyond.
Two weeks ago we lost one of our long-time neighbors from my childhood neighborhood. She was the mother of my oldest childhood friend. It was a really difficult time. I am grateful for great neighbors who looked out for us as kids like Judy!
Jen 🙂
I have lived in cities and the suburbs and the time I got to know my neighbors the best was when my family lived in the suburbs, so yes, I do believe that the type of neighborhood you live in plays a factor in whether you get to know the people next door.