I have a birthday this week. An occasion which would usually have me getting excited, prepping for a party or a date night. Or if it were my daughter or better half’s birthdays, you would find me really excited and organizing a party or some sort of celebration.
But this time around, for my birthday, it’s not working out as per usual. I don’t want a celebration or a party. I want something quiet and non obvious, like staying home all day and catching a movie afterwards. Although it doesn’t look like that will happen if my girlfriends have anything to do with it.
By nature I’m a person who gets pretty excited. I’m known not to turn down a party. But for some reason, as I get older, I’m just not keen about celebrating getting older. Sometimes I can feel the clock ticking in my head, but that’s another story for another day.
A male colleague once asked, “What is with women and their age?” It got me thinking. What is it with women and their age?? For some women, even just asking their age is an unforgivable offense.
The sense of alarm and urgency that has overcome me lately is strange yet it has been happening with greater frequency.
Maybe it has to do with the fact that my daughter is growing up faster than I like. Or maybe it’s because I feel that there’s so much I still want to do right at the age I am. Not to mention that of course my body changing and witnessing it is not very desirable.
I suppose I should embrace it. Take it by the horns and “wonder-woman” style my way through these feelings? But how? How do I get excited when all I want is to do is stay in bed all day and not hear a word about my birthday?
Has anyone else ever gotten weary of growing a year older?
This is an original post by Nancy Sumari from Tanzania. You can find more of her writing at Mama Zuri.
I am turning 40 this year and I am being a such a big baby about it.
I don’t feel a day older then 25, and I certainly don’t act my age most of the time.
I try to approach it from this angle:
This is the way it’s supposed to be. I am supposed to get older.
It is a blessing that I am here and that I get to see my kids grow up.
I should have a huge party when I turn 40, because it is a privilege not granted to all.
So, this helps me. (Although I will probably throw a few more pity parties before I fully accept it..)
Oh, and you look gorgeous in that picture!! You have nothing to worry about my friend. You will age gracefully.
Dear Nancy, maybe this story about my great-grandmother will put things in perspective for you. 🙂 I was fortunate to be able to attend my great-grandmother’s 100th (yes, ONE HUNDREDTH) birthday. Her “baby” sister (84 years young) had bought her a new dress for the party which was black with white polka-dots, but my Nonna refused to wear it because she said “Only old women wear black!” 🙂 She went on to live a further 2 years and then proclaimed that she was tired. Shortly thereafter she passed away peacefully in her sleep. What I take away from this story is that age is just a number! It does NOT define us. She was one hundred years YOUNG because she refused to wear a dress that “only old women wear”. I’m 45 years old. That’s a fact. I don’t feel like an adult yet. That’s also a fact! 🙂 HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND MANY MORE!! 🙂
I love this story, Simona!
Noooo!!! One day you will look back on this and realize how young you were and be annoyed at yourself that you didn’t enjoy it!
Get up, get out and get your party on, Nanc!!!!
Wish I was there to celebrate!
Jen 🙂
Happy birthday Nancy!! It’s true, age is just a number, it is really about how you feel, and Mirjam is right when she says that getting older is a priveledge. Celebrate every day. (I am 47 and try to remind myself of this when I am feeling blah!)
I can’t wait to hear how it actually went! 🙂 One day I saw an interview with Maya Angelou. She was asked how she felt about being over 70 and getting older in general. She said “by any means, do it!!!”
Also, there is nothing wrong with watching a movie at home & just being in your bath robe all day and even not taking phone calls. Just being by yourself. As long as that is what you REALLY want to do. You know?
Plus, I believe in 30 days of celebration, in which anything that happens in your favor is a gift to you. It works out really well because it helps you be appreciative and have a really happy disposition with people & life in general, and notice blessings in simple things like a short line at the post office, or a meal that tastes especially good! Or a random date with your other half 😉
And the 30 days also make it so you can have a quiet day for yourself, you can have an outing with your girls, your baby Zuri, your beau, your family, your friends… etc 🙂
xo
Yes yes yes! I recently spent some time with younger women and I felt oooold. But the remedy seems to have been hanging with my girlfriends who share the same wrinkles and angst:) Love the post! Happy Birthday!