As a mum, some days I need a reminder to have more joy in my life. Because if I were to describe how I feel these days, it’s exhausted, tired, cranky, stressed up with my tank running low on joy.
Sure motherhood is a joy. But there are days when it can be so tiring and testing that its sucks the life out of me. It doesn’t help that my four-year-old is somehow just like me, stubborn and obstinate so when I go tough on her, it does nothing but make her comply.
Just last night, I had to raise my voice when my little one still refused to sleep at 11pm. No wonder no amount of miracle eye cream is working at erasing my panda eyes.
The truth about Motherhood is that it’s a relentless giving of self.
Without starting a working mum versus stay at home mum war, we all have untold stories of how it can be a struggle to juggle work, home, marriage and the kids. And like what I tell many people, work simply never ends. After 9 hours of work at the office, I clock in another good 4-5 hours of work doing the cooking, washing, playing, teaching, reading, mothering in general. And while there can be sweet moments, such as when my daughter shows me a picture she’s drawn for me or tells me stories about what happened in school. There is also the nagging because she simply don’t care for bedtime or the mess she creates after playing, painting, and, yes, when she refuses to sleep …
Yes, that’s motherhood, and it probably will be like that for a good 5, 10 or 20 years of life …
But I know that this is not just the story of my life. It is the same story for most mums, regardless, if you have one child or three! Many, like me, are probably dealing with bedtime woes, battles, sibling rivalry and don’t even get me started about the dishes and laundry that are threatening to topple.
I know I’m not alone. You are not alone, too. Even on days when it feels like you’re dragging your feet to get around from being so sleep deprived and when the kids are banging on the toilet door and all you want to do is hide inside.
You. are. not. alone.
So here’s a reminder
- Take deep breaths
- Catch cat naps
- Ask for help
- Do something you enjoy
- Have less stress and more joy by focusing on the long-term
I know it’s hard, that’s why most of us get so caught up in the day to day madness. But after hearing stories from those with grown up children, I think there is a silver lining…
As for sleep. Who needs it anyway…
Okay, I take it back, I need my coffee now!
How do you deal with the stress of motherhood? What are your tips to stay joyful?
This is an original post by Susan Koh for World Moms Blog. She’s loves to travel and blogs passionately about parenting, marriage and relationship and leading a healthy life at www.ajugglingmom.com.
Photo credit to the author.
Yes!
I try to focus on the message an Ethiopian orphan with HIV had taped above her bed, in a documentary a distant friend of ours made:
“I want to be happy every day”
If that girl can live up to such a pure wish, surely I should be able to as well! So at the end of particularly rough days, I try to remind myself of little things that happened during the day and made me smile. Or could have made me smile.
To me, the key is that you don’t have to try to be happy all the time. Just try to make sure every day has at least one happy moment, which can be really really small. Like finally hearing your children snore 🙂
That’s a great perspective. I too will look for my happy moment in a day. Like the laughter of my daughter or the comfort of my home after a long day’s work. Thanks Karyn 🙂
Dearest Susan, sleep deprivation is the worst! Like my dear friend Karyn likes to say, “parenting is made up of long days and short years”. As the parent of a 21 year old son and 18 year old daughter, I can attest to the truth of that. Right now you are tired, and it seems like the chores never end. You are right that we ALL go through that! I’m here to be “the light at the end of the tunnel” and confirm that it actually DOES go by quicker than you think! The time you spend reading to your child or drawing with her, those memories will be so dear to you in the future! The beauty is that your children won’t even remember the dirty dishes and piles of laundry, they WILL remember the time you gave them your undivided attention. The more time you make for them when they are little, the more time they’ll make for YOU when they grow up! 🙂
I know there’s the light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks for making me think twice about complaining about what’s before me and looking beyond the present. I know I’ll certainly miss it when the time comes for her to be a young lady. Thanks for your parenting insights Simona.
Deep breaths! That is key for me.
And lists. And breaking things into smaller pieces. Yes, we can fit in going to the park today, but in order to get everyone home in time for dinner and bed to stay on schedule, I set a timer on my phone. Otherwise, bedtime can be chaos!!
Thanks for writing this, Susan!
Jen 🙂
Thanks for the practical tips. Yes lists, I used to be the queen of lists but these are thrown out of the window after a while. Gotta get back into a routine for a more organised home. Maybe a organised chaotic home 🙂