1. Olga @The EuropeanMama says

    Not sure about it. I was very (very very) sure that the terrible twos would NEVER happen to me. But they did. And they did happen hard. With my second child, I was expecting it and nothing. She is as sweet as she was as a baby. “That said, most parenting sites and blogs tend to reinforce certain ideas (like that of the Terrible Toddler years and Terrible Teen years) so that new parents accept them as being inevitable stages of life.”- no actually, now they’re trying to reinforce the belief that if your child misbehaves it is your fault- and you didn’t know any better. I am quite critical of psychological experiments of these kind- they can’t ever be objective- adn the idea of IQ is also quite controversial at this point, becuase you can have better test scores if you know hwo to prepare for the test. I think it is better to expect that the terrible twos will happen adn then consider yourself lucky when they don’t than not expect them and be hit on the head like I was. It is better to be prepared for the storm than to have your house distroyed becuase you ignored the warnings.

  2. Salma says

    I don’t know Simona, it comes and goes with my expectations and outcomes. I agree with some aspects of the study, and totally agree with your last sentence….

    People will always say this or that behavior is normal based on nothing but past experiences etc. For example, it’s supposed to be normal for my teens to experiment with drugs and slam doors in my face???? that scares the heck out of me, lol.

    Having 4 kids with big age gaps, I don’t know if I just got too tired to project and reflect on what has happened and what is happening.

    • Simona says

      That’s exactly my point, Salma, we shouldn’t say it’s “normal” for teens to experiment with drugs and slam doors in our face! My son is 21 and my daughter will be 18 in May this year. Neither one has felt the need to even try cigarettes, never mind drugs, and neither has ever been disrespectful to either me or my husband. We talk about everything (and I really mean EVERYTHING) we have an awesome and “easy” relationship with a lot of laughter and banter. I don’t think my family is in any way “special”, I just think that we don’t hear enough about GOOD experiences with toddlers and teens! 🙂

  3. Tara B. says

    I think every stage has its ups and downs. As children grow and evolve, they test boundaries and learn to assert themselves in new ways. How it manifest at each stage depends on their personalities, temperament, environment and relationships. While some kids are naturally explosive in their 2’s, some are not as much. But they still are learning and testing. I think that if parents go into a stage expecting a child to be difficult, they can unintentionally contribute to making that expectation a reality. But I also think you can make valid assumptions on behavioral outcomes of your own kid based on past experiences. My sons have pretty intense personalities, and I can tell you pretty accurately when they are going to have a “terrible” few days. I’m not sabotaging them in my mind. I just can read the cues and know when they are going to be more sensitive, amped, and testy. Those are days I really need to be more on my game as a parent and dig deep in that well of patience 😉

  4. Susie Newday (Israel) says

    I have to say is that what resonated the most for me were the studies about self fulfilling prophecies and its ramifications in medicine. Wonder if a study was ever done for that.

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