I woke up one day and realized that my baby is no longer a baby. Thinking about it brings happy-sad tears to my eyes. I’m extremely proud of my son and how much he’s grown and matured over the years, but at the same time, I’m scared that he will outgrow me soon and, I will become a mommy without a baby.
It all started one fateful day at school. We did our usual routine where I dropped him off at the school driveway. I got out of the car, pulled his bag out of the trunk, and walked up the steps with him. Then I leaned down to kiss him. Usually Tristan would reach up and meet my kiss halfway, say “I love you, Mommy”, and I’d tell him to enjoy his day and that I’d pick him up after class before we parted ways. Well, that afternoon was different. I noticed when we got to the top of the stairs that he kept looking at a group of older boys out of the corner of his eye. And when I leaned down to kiss him, he angled his face so that I ended up kissing his cheek instead, all the while glancing at the bigger kids. Then he cheerfully said “Bye, Mommy!” and went to his classroom.
I stood at the top of the steps for a good fifteen seconds before I finally shook my head and got back in the car. I thought back on all the times that my friends would tease me about little boys growing up and not wanting to be seen kissing their moms in public. (more…)