At the age of 19, I sat at my Father’s deathbed. I watched him battle and lose his life to cancer in a very short period of time. I live with nightmares of his disease, and I grieve over him daily. He never saw me graduate from University, met my husband, walked me down the aisle, or met my son.
My loss haunts me daily. I have spent years attempting to honor his life and his spirit, but his death defined my life and altered it forever.
The moment I knew I was pregnant, I knew I was going to have a baby boy. I had vivid dreams of him and my Father. I am not sure how I knew, but at our 5 month ultra sound, we were told it was a boy. I knew he would take my Father’s first name, and I knew that somehow, my Father was connected to him.
I am not a deeply religious person, nor am I regular church goer. I have a deep sense of spirituality, mostly from years of travelling. I never want my son to fear death, and I want him to celebrate life. (more…)