I look at the fun, creative projects the crafty moms do with their kids and wonder why I don’t think of such ideas; I admire the gorgeous photos of meals moms blessed with culinary talent create for their kids and wonder why I can’t cook better; I marvel at mompreneurs who have built successful businesses while managing households with at least two kids and wish I could be more like them; I see the beautiful, Pinterest-worthy homes of some super organized moms and feel guilty about the state of mess in my own. The list goes on and on.
Whether we want to admit it or not, we moms are probably the most competitive group of people on earth.
We compare (usually secretly or under the pretext of “comparing notes”) how soon our little ones can walk, talk, read or write; we compare birthday parties; what and how many enrichment programs our children attend; where we go to for holidays and how many holidays we go on a year; which schools our kids enroll in, how well our kids do in school and on and on.
And having ready access to social media makes it worse. We can’t run away from what other moms post on Facebook, Twitter or Pinterest.
I’m not sure about you but it makes me tired sometimes.
Motherhood is not a competition. It is a gift to make us a better person. Not in comparison to another mom but learning to be a better me, a better mom today than I was yesterday.
Motherhood is also a gift for us to make a difference in another person’s life, to participate in their growth, rejoice in their milestones, build their character and empower them to fulfill their greatest potential.
I am thankful that my two-and-a-half year-old son loves me just as I am. It doesn’t matter how terrible I look in the morning with messy hair and dark circles under my eyes, or if I have a PhD, a successful career or can cook fantastically (but the latter will sure help my boy eat better!). To him, I’m the best mom in the world, and all he needs from me is my presence, it’s that pure and simple.
Just as I’m telling myself not to compare to other moms, I’m reminded too, not to compare my son with other children but to love him just as he is.
It’s a reminder that my son is “fearfully and wonderfully made”, born with a unique set of gifts and talents. When he is big enough, he will have his own dreams to pursue – not what I wish him to be or society’s expectations of him, but his own vision of his life. I pray that at that time, I will support him to find his special place in life and to be successful on his own terms.
Meanwhile, I will learn to stop comparing and be happy just as I am. I will focus on my strengths as a mom and individual and celebrate my uniqueness. I hope you will too.
Do you have a tendency to compare yourself to other moms? Or are you happy about who you are as a mom?
This is an original post by Ruth Wong from Singapore. She’s a work-at-home-mom who also blogs at The Mommy Cafe.
The image used in this post is attributed to Rabeea Arif. It holds a Flickr Creative Commons attribution license.