If you read my personal blog then you know that the education of my children is a recurring subject in my posts. Now I am up against yet another educational dilemma.
Since moving to the eastern province and enrolling my son in a small school here, I have noticed something. He is more relaxed, more confident and definitely more focused. You see, he is in a class of 13 children now when he used to be in a class of 30.
Come January, we move back to Riyadh again. Where’s the dilemma? Well, the school I want to enroll him in will only have 3 other people in his class. It’s a new school that is just starting up. I know the woman who runs the school and have followed…her progress since she had a small daycare in her house. I like her principles and ideals and the way she runs the school. Second dilemma, he really loved his old school.
His old school is huge and has everything a good school needs: a great campus, state of the art facilities, an Olympic-sized pool, huge library. What it doesn’t have is discipline. I mean the children aren’t running around like monkeys (not all the time at least), but they basically do not expect as much from the kids as I would like them to (if that makes sense). They are also a little shaky while implementing the IB program. They do have competent people trying to implement this program, but it’s just not yet at the level it should be.
The new school I want to enroll him in is small. It has one tiny playground for all the students (there aren’t that many). It teaches English, Arabic and French. The owner is passionate and devoted to the children and knows each one by name (again, not many children).
Both are good schools with a high level of education. The big one still has to shake off the old-fashioned views on education that some of the teachers have, which remind me of the school I went to when I was a kid. While the small school is more modern in its approach, it emphasizes the individual strengths of the students.
My son and I were counting how many schools he has been to since he started formal schooling. He went to preschool in Riyadh, then a British school in London, then an American school in London, then an International school in Riyadh, then to the school here. So obviously, when we move back, I would essentially like to put him in one school and keep him there.
He is such a good kid and has a good sense of responsibility. He is hard-working and eager to learn and, as far as 8-year-old boys go, he is really easy. I don’t want to mess that up with all the change we keep going through.
What does my son want? To go back to his old school. To his friends who he constantly asks about. And he has good friends there. Can I say for sure that one school is better than the other? Honestly… no.
So what’s more important: a child’s social network at school or how good the school is?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Mama B from Saudi Arabia. She can be found writing at her blog, Ya Maamaa.
Photo credit to Norman Ack. This photo has a creative commons attribution license.
Hm. If your son didn’t have an opinion, I would say the smaller one sounds better. But I think at that age, their social network is very important. And then the values, discipline, etc have to be instilled from you.
But wouldn’t it be great to have BOTH? 🙂
What is your heart telling you?
I personally think that a social network and how you learn to interact with people is more important than anything you can be taught in school. Good friends and feeling like you belong is really important for anyone-especially for an 8 year old boy.
Good luck. Let us know what you decide.
I can see your internal debate on this on, Mama B.!
It would almost be perfect if you could send him to his old school with all his friends, and then do some kind of after-school enrichment program at the other school. I’m not sure if that is even an option, but maybe you can find something similar or a language program after school for him.
He may miss out on a lot of “social” intelligence at the old school. And, he may even do better in school because he will feel at home there.
But, really you have the best feel for him, what he needs, and the feels of the two schools. I know whatever decision you make will be the right one for your family!
Jen 🙂
Hey Mama B. I’m a new fan of your blog w allah ykhaleelik w y7meelik awladaik inshallah!
Why not have him try out the new school for the first week and see if by the end of it he feels comfortable with the move? He can always see his friends on weekends if he moves to the smaller school.
And inshallah with a society like ours, it’s not that hard for a child to develop the necessary “social skills”. They’re constantly around other people and kids their ages whether it were with friends or family.
One thing I feel I should say is that unfortunately with most of the schools here the children develop really strong social skills rather than learn how to be disciplined when it comes to studying and their education. I am constantly hearing about recent graduates or students moving abroad who suffer because of that.
I know S is a long way from graduating but thought about sharing my two cents with you.
At the end of the day you are the only one who knows what’s best for your S.
Good luck with your choice 🙂
Hi Sarah, thank you or the comment. And for arguing the flip side. I keep going back and forth between the two choices! And I keep remember what a friend of mine said (who is older than I am). She said that when her daughter what S’s age she let her stay in the school she wanted as opposed to sending her to the school that she thought was better and when her daughter grew r up she told her “mum, I was 8! Why were you listening to what I wanted anyway?! You should have put me in the better school” … Dilemma! I’m going to pray istikhara (prayer asking for guidance) and see what happens.
Thank you all for y input. And Yes Jennie! Why can’t we have both! I am leaning more towards leaving him in his old school. In the end it’s important for him to socialise with more people I think, it’s easy to be sheltered her and we are a community of traditions and cultures and if he is not submerged in them now he will feel isolated in the future or will isolate himself. Anyway, I will pray for guidance and go visit the schools again! Will tell you all what I decide.
i believe its a bit of a immature prediction for us to say that enrolling him to the new school will not help him socialize,as you said its a new school,but if its going positively it should grow with time,and from what i read he seems to be a social kid,so i am sure he will make new friends in his new school,maybe not at that much of a large scale,but he wont be alone.
its definitely a tricky situation,but i think a good approach is to enroll him in the new school and see how its going,since we already know how his performance in the old school,we can compare and see which one is bringing the best out of him,and if it was the old school,you can simply take him back there.
best of luck,and i will definitely get back to you when i am back to riyadh and need help in picking up a school.
Again, the other side… It’s interesting to see what you and Sarah have said since you are both Saudi (I think Sarah is) and have had experienced schools here.
Give me a couple of years and I’ll be an expert on where you should send ur kids to school!
Again, the other side… It’s interesting to see what you and Sarah have said since you are both Saudi (I think Sarah is) and have had experienced schools here.
Give me a couple of years and I’ll be an expert on where you should send ur kids to school! I have also found out that I can’t send my daughter to the small school unless I commit to send the rest of my kids because their vacation schedule is totally different to the Saudi vacation schedule!! So now it’s an even more difficult choice!!
Hey Mama B,
Istakheeri that’s the best thing to do. (I thought I wrote that at the end of my earlier post, I guess not).
You might of misunderstood me when I said to see how he feels by the end of the first week at the small school. If he survives it, which i am sure he would, then maybe you both would get a better feel of which school is a better choice for him. But now that you mentioned the vacation schedule, scratch out all that you’ve been thinking about earlier and see if you’re willing and trusting enough in the new school to put all your children there. As you already know having the whole family on one vacation schedule is crucial in order to take vacations. lol
Going back to the main argument I truly believe based on my experience and of those around me that most of our schools’ strong points are social skills as opposed to having discipline. So if you think you are willing to really take charge back home concerning that aspect, then leave him at his old school. But as you mentioned in one of your previous posts that once they are done with school family obligations come in and there isn’t much time left in the day before dinner and bed time to work so much on school.
In my opinion, and if I had the chance to go back in time I would have stayed in my old school which had a rigorous program. As opposed to the other school which had a more laid back approach (it was very popular with us students back then lol). I think I would have been more prepared to the amount of discipline needed in order to succeed in the real world. And not have struggled the first couple of semesters when I moved abroad.
At the end of the day only you know what’s best for your family. Allah yktblk ili feeh ilkheir inshallah!!
Mama B. I want to give you an example.
When I was about to finish my high school and was looking for a college I was looking at places where I knew my friends are going. When my mom figured it out she spent with me some time talking about the most important and great thing (that time I didn’t think that). She explain to me that this is very important step in my life and choosing it just because of friends who btw, comes and go is very silly thing to do.
She said that if I choose a college based on a number of my friends who go there pretty soon I’ll see that those friends dropped out, changed school, have new friends, etc. and I am stuck in a place where I actually didn’t want to go, or in a place that doesn’t have good education program. For once in my life 😉 I listened to her and I choose college where I really wanted to go. College 350 miles far from home where I knew only one person. That was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my entire life. My mom was totally right and I thank her for that. I got really great education and I made new, awesome friends… .
Yes, why can’t we have both?
I think your son is at an age where networking is important, but I don’t think it’s the most important because he seems to be able to get along in both (just he is more relaxed in one oiver the other).
My first hand experience says a school with a good program. My family lost out by not following this route when we had a chance.
I agree with Sarah…istikihara.
I changed several elementary schools myself, and looking back, I have to say it was definitely hard at times, but the process of adjustment I went through every time definitely helped me develop certain skills and coping mechanism that I have used many times since then. Your son seems to be a good student who has gained some skills already, and it seems to me he will be fine either way.
Mama B – I can only speak from my own experience. From the time I was about 7 until I was about 13 my family was living an a wealthy suburban neighborhood. The kind that has a very large affluent school, with huge sports, arts, music, theater, etc programs. then we moved back into the city. So my mother choose to put me into a small private school (there were other choices, but that was the one my mother choose for my sister and I). In fact it is such a small school, we only graduated 20 (and that was considered a large class). We didn’t have the programs my other school had. I wasn’t able to continue learning violin, I would not have extra-curricular classes like home-ec or wood-shop, art or music. I cried the first time I walked in the door, to take a test to make sure they would accept me. It ended up to be the best decision my mother ever made for me. In my old school, with 30 kids in a class, I was a mediocre student, at best. In my new school, I excelled and graduated among the top of my class. I was the editor of the year book, president of the Kiwanis club, and held various other posts. In my old school, I was not athletic enough to make it onto any sports team, in my new school everyone was accepted onto the teams, no matter what their athletic ability, if you were interested, you were part of the team. Even though I had made some very good friends in my old school (some who still remain in my life), there were really only a couple at the end of the day. In my new school, I had made so many close friends, so close, in fact, we got married around the same time, our children are growing up together and we are growing older together. I still keep in touch with my teachers (they were invited to my wedding and to my children’s births’). I am also very active in the alumni committee. From my experience, the socialization did not suffer in the least, in fact I excelled socially, there is a saying, it is better to be a big fish in a small pond then a small fish in a big pond.
Good luck with your decision. I am sure that you will make the best decision for your son! 🙂
sorry for the long reply, by the way… I am very passionate about this topic 🙂
I think I’m leaning more toward the small school; you could always have playdates with his old friends and network with other children through out of school activities – the amount of space the kids have to play in would be my biggest concern there though. (No surprises there!)