ISRAEL: A Moment of Clarity & Understanding

ISRAEL: A Moment of Clarity & Understanding

Girl on swing

After attending the Israeli Presidential Conference last week, Susie Newday of New Day, New Lesson woke up today with these gorgeous words flowing from her head. Her internal call to understanding, a mother’s call to inner peace and acceptance. We just had to post them today because they are moving and amazing! Read on…

“There Comes a Moment”

There comes a moment
a moment in your life
when you stop to ponder
the truths in your living and life.

That moment that is bought on
by something big or something small.
By love or by hate
or just a feeling that there is more.

Something happens or
maybe someone touches your heart
in a way that makes you wonder
what is truly important in your life.

You find yourself  scanning
the years of your life,
and you say to yourself,

“Does this really matter,
is this adding meaning and purpose to my life?”

And it hurts to acknowledge, even to yourself,
how much time and energy
you have wasted and waste
pursuing people, things and ideals not your own.

And it disgusts you to think
of all the hurt you have caused.
It upsets you to remember
how often you have not forgiven or forgotten.

And there is a soft gentle shift
in your heart, soul and stance.
You feel changed, you want change
but how do you become and live that change?

It is in that moment
that your thinking becomes forever altered
and your perceptions are now filtered
through different colored glasses.

In that moment you learn
to listen to your heart.
You learn there is no shame
if you walk your own different path.

That’s the moment when you realize
that pain is your decision.
That you no longer
have to be or feel like a victim.

It is in that moment
that you know it’s time
to release someone and let them go
until they’re ready to return on their own.

That’s the moment when you know
that it’s really okay to love yourself.
The imperfections are uniquely you
and that is a celebration in itself.

It’s the moment that you realize
holding grudges are poison to your soul,
and that your failures, though painful,
are your greatest teachers and lessons.

It’s in that moment
that you understand
that no one else can really know
or understand your truth.

That’s the moment
that you begin to internalize
that there is no point or gain
in judging your fellow man.

It’s that rare moment
of clarity and inner peace;
a fleeting glimpse of what
your life was meant to be.

There comes a moment,
a turning point of sorts,
one that removes the veil of small and petty
and lets the majestic inside us shine through.

We all have a moment,
and sometimes more than one,
where we realize the reins are in our hands
and the direction we go is up to us.

It’s a moment of wisdom
A moment where we just “get”
that life is great,
and we don’t have to wait for anything else.

The only question left unanswered
to which only you can give the answer is,
“Do you grab this moment and learn to live it,
or do you continue to let your moments slip away?”

“There Comes A Moment” ©2013 Susie @NewDayNewLesson

girl running

This is an original post to World Moms Blog by our contributor, Susie Newday in Israel.

Photo credits to the author. 

Susie Newday (Israel)

Susie Newday is a happily-married American-born Israeli mother of five. She is an oncology nurse, blogger and avid amateur photographer. Most importantly, Susie is a happily married mother of five amazing kids from age 8-24 and soon to be a mother in law. (Which also makes her a chef, maid, tutor, chauffeur, launderer...) Susie's blog, New Day, New Lesson, is her attempt to help others and herself view the lessons life hands all of us in a positive light. She will also be the first to admit that blogging is great free therapy as well. Susie's hope for the world? Increasing kindness, tolerance and love. You can also follow her Facebook page New Day, New Lesson where she posts her unique photos with quotes as well as gift ideas.

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ISRAEL: Facing Tomorrow -The Fifth Israeli Presidential Conference

ISRAEL: Facing Tomorrow -The Fifth Israeli Presidential Conference

susie and dr. ruthI don’t know why it is, but I have yet to come across any initiative, no matter how praiseworthy, that doesn’t have people criticizing some aspect of it. The Israeli Presidential Conference that I attended last week was no exception.

The conference, in its fifth year, is aptly titled “Facing Tomorrow.” Held under the auspices of 90 year old President Shimon Peres (may I have as much energy as him at that age), the conference saw 4500 people from around the world get together, inspire each other, and talk about topics facing us now and in the future. The conference was attended by world leaders, politicians, diplomats, international scholars, activists, poets, scientists, artists, clergy, entrepreneurs, economists and industrialists, as well as representatives of the next generation of leaders. There were plenary sessions, panels, roundtables and master classes that discussed a wide spectrum of topics with about 200 speakers representing some of the worlds brightest minds. (more…)

Susie Newday (Israel)

Susie Newday is a happily-married American-born Israeli mother of five. She is an oncology nurse, blogger and avid amateur photographer. Most importantly, Susie is a happily married mother of five amazing kids from age 8-24 and soon to be a mother in law. (Which also makes her a chef, maid, tutor, chauffeur, launderer...) Susie's blog, New Day, New Lesson, is her attempt to help others and herself view the lessons life hands all of us in a positive light. She will also be the first to admit that blogging is great free therapy as well. Susie's hope for the world? Increasing kindness, tolerance and love. You can also follow her Facebook page New Day, New Lesson where she posts her unique photos with quotes as well as gift ideas.

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EGYPT: Life Skills Children Need

EGYPT: Life Skills Children Need

ID-10097438What life skills do my children need to learn to live a happier, more fulfilling, and successful life? This is a question that I asked myself while thinking about what my children need to learn. I started by looking for what exactly the definition of life skills is, and this is what I found on Wikipedia:

 “Life skills are behaviors used appropriately and responsibly in the management of personal affairs. They are a set of human skills acquired via teaching or direct experience that are used to handle problems and questions commonly encountered in daily human life.”

It wasn’t that easy to find the answer for my question as I found many, so I decided to start by checking what skills I found out, when I grew up, that I needed to learn and could make a difference in my life if I learned them earlier.

I thought about how to highlight the importance of these skills to my kids or how to tell them to start building these skills. I came up with the idea of presenting them in the form of a list of tips to apply in their daily lives to make them a habit:

  1. Work hard and Play hard: Work hard when it is work time; and play hard when it is fun time.
  2. Listen: Listen attentively to your heart, your mind and to others to understand what they really want to tell you.
  3. Ask questions: Be curious and ask questions to understand and check with others about what they want to say and if it you understood right.
  4. Follow your passion: Find out what your passion is, what you love, and what you do effortlessly and do it.
  5. Learn to solve problems: Problems are essential in life, so learn to find solutions for the problems not to avoid them.
  6. Be courageous and face fears: Do not avoid what you don’t like because of fear of failure, it is your opportunity to learn something new and strengthen your will power muscle. Take a small risk every day by trying something new.
  7. Do make mistakes: Do not be ashamed of making mistakes.  We all do, and it’s a must for learning.
  8. Let go of criticism: Don’t let criticism negatively affect your life. Sometimes people criticize others just to feel good about themselves so find out why they are criticizing you. Are they really caring about you? If yes, consider it; otherwise let it go.
  9. Learn:  Life is a long learning journey, so never stop learning and developing yourself. Commit yourself to learn something new every day.
  10. Be goal-oriented: Learn to set goals and work toward these goals; it is very powerful as it allows you to live a purposeful life.
  11. Work in a team: Cooperate and help others. Working in a team allows you to build new skills like good communication skills, leadership skills and unselfishness.
  12. Be grateful: Focus your attention on who you are and what you have, not what is missing in your life, and be grateful for what you have in hands.
  13. Learn to manage your resources wisely: Be careful about your health, your money and your time. They are your most important and precious resources so don’t waste them.
  14. Give amply: generosity in giving and sharing everything like material stuff, emotions,  praise, encouragement and love can bring a lot of happiness and fulfillment; as it allows you to win other’s love and respect.
  15. Dream big: Don’t fear to dream big dreams and to follow your dream. Just believe in yourself and in your ability to achieve your dream.
  16. Believe in yourself: Be confident and believe that you can do it.
  17. Never give up: Persistence is key factor for success. “Winners never quit and quitters never win” ~Vince Lombardi

These are the skills which are essential, from my point of view, for my kids to acquire. What other skills do you think your kids need to learn to live a fulfilling and successful life?

This is an original post for World Moms Blog by Nihad from Alexandria, Egypt. Nihad blogs at  Aurora Beams Life Coaching.

Image courtesy of “Girl Writing Abc Shows Kid Learning” by Stuart Miles FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

Nihad

Nihad is an Egyptian woman, who was born and has lived her whole life in Alexandria, Egypt. She says, “People who visited this city know how charming and beautiful this city is. Although I love every city in Egypt, Alexandria is the one I love the most.” She is a software engineer and has worked in the field for more than twenty years. But recently she quit her job, got a coaching certificate and she is now a self employed life and career coach. She says, “I believe that women in this era face big challenges and they are taking huge responsibilities. That's why I have chosen my niche -- women looking for happiness and satisfaction. I help and support them in making whatever change (career change, life change, behavior change, belief change…) they want to bring more satisfaction and happiness in their lives.” Nihad is a mother of two lovely boys, 15 and 9 years old. She states, “They are the most precious gifts I have ever had. I madly love them, and I consider them the main source of happiness in my life.” Our inspiring mother in Egypt can also be found at Aurora Beams Life Coaching.

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UNITED ARAB EMIRATES: BOOBS! And now that I have your attention…let’s change the world

UNITED ARAB EMIRATES: BOOBS! And now that I have your attention…let’s change the world

femen postI used to have a college professor—of women’s studies, of course—who would occasionally start class when we were particularly chatty and inattentive by saying, loudly, “SEX!”   Our heads would whip around to stare at her and the room would be silent.

The professor would chuckle and then start the lesson, which almost never had anything to do with sex—or at least not sex in an interesting way.  Her way of talking about sex was dry and academic, having to do with words like “hegemony” or “heteronormative.”

I thought about that professor a few weeks ago when I read about “International Topless Jihad Day,” sponsored by FEMEN in support of Amina Tyler, who had sparked a global controversy by posting a topless pictures of herself on Facebook with “my body belongs to me and is not the source of anyone’s honor,” scrawled on her naked chest in Arabic.  Tyler’s life—and the lives of her family—were threatened after the pictures were posted; she has since left Tunisia, where she lived.

The topless jihadists claimed that their actions showed solidarity with Amina and sent a message to the world that women’s bodies belong to no one but themselves. And yet it seems a bit like my professor yelling SEX! FEMEN is yelling BOOBS–and the topless jihad did, it’s true, get a lot of press coverage.  The coverage drew attention to Amina’s plight but also gave respected media outlets a chance to run pictures of boobs and more boobs: Huffington Post ran a whole slideshow of revolutionary boobs. (more…)

Mannahattamamma (UAE)

After twenty-plus years in Manhattan, Deborah Quinn and her family moved to Abu Dhabi (in the United Arab Emirates), where she spends a great deal of time driving her sons back and forth to soccer practice. She writes about travel, politics, feminism, education, and the absurdities of living in a place where temperatures regularly go above 110F.
Deborah can also be found on her blog, Mannahattamamma.

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SAUDI ARABIA: Labels

SAUDI ARABIA: Labels

labelsI have never really thought of myself as a conservative person. Not because I’m not one I probably am in the traditional sense of the word but life seems to be all about labeling people. Sorting them and stacking them into neat little sections. We are obsessed with it.
We talk to people and get to know them just enough to label them something and keep that label stuck to them regardless of whether it actually fits them or not. Sometimes we skip the getting to know all together and slap the label on based on first impressions, on the way they dress or talk or the job that they do. Some labels are good, some bad, but all have the same effect of flattening a person out till they are barely one-dimensional. So I don’t particularly like labels. And I don’t feel comfortable committing to one adjective for the rest of my life
Now as an Arab, Muslim woman from Saudi Arabia you can imagine I have been labelled many things based only on one of the afore-mentioned facts (Arab, Muslim, female and from Saudi). You can also imagine that many of these labels are not particularly nice ones. For example “oppressed” is one I have slapped on me simply by being an Arab woman. Add the other two parts (Muslim and Saudi) then that label is practically tattooed on my forehead.
If I dare to say I am not oppressed then the other label is pinned to me; “Brainwashed.” I remember when I got engaged while I was studying in London one of my professors called me into his office to ask if I was okay and if I had a choice in the matter. The fact that I was studying in London, living on my own, and that he had known me at that point for two years didn’t affect how he saw me. I was still an oppressed little Saudi girl to him.
I know people have certain preconceptions about women in Saudi and it is very difficult to convince them otherwise without them coming to see for themselves. A British woman who recently moved to Riyadh said “I have yet to meet a timid Saudi woman! I expected the women here to have no say in all that happens in their lives and homes and with their families. I was so surprised to see that they are in charge.”
I think people have a need for others to be one thing or the other. They cannot be undefinable, un-categorisable. So it always throws my more “Western” “liberal” friends (might as well join them if you can’t beat them!) through a loop when I don’t fit into the category they expect me to. They are surprised by how “conservative” I am when it comes to certain matters concerning my children. For example:
1- I don’t want my son to be in a co-ed school after the age of 12. It is not because I want to segregate him completely from women. On the contrary I want him to have, hopefully, the same female friends he has now at 10. The reason is all the co-ed schools here are international ones with a majority of ex-pat students. Our religion and culture mean that there is no dating and no premarital anything. That is why I think it is unfair to put him in an environment where dating is the norm. Kids will be having crushes, and first kisses and so on and I will then expect him not to do it. I’m not delusional, I know boys will be boys. I just don’t want to put him in an environment where everyone else is going in one direction (the more exciting, fun and hormone filed direction) and I am expecting him to go in the other.
2- I don’t want my 7-year-old girl to wear bikinis or short shorts or off the shoulder clothes. This is not because I think there’s a pervert around every corner or anything like thatay. It’s because I want her to be more modest and to grow up feeling like wearing crop tops is not okay. It may be cute at 7 but at 17, not so much. Having said that, I think people really over reacted to the pictures of Jessica Simpsons baby in a bikini last year. Had she had a picture of her in Pampers only people wouldn’t have had such an issue. She was 4 months old people. It’s cute!
3- I don’t want my daughter to take hip hop classes. Her personality is a huge factor in this because if there is music and table she can stand on she’ll be on that table dancing her little tush off. I think a lot of the dances that are taught in these classes are inappropriate and too grown up. Also, whats the cut off age for this? I don’t want my daughter to start something she really loves, get really good at it and put all her energy into it then say: Fantastic! Good job! Stop doing it now. And “professional dancer” is not a career option for her.
4- I don’t like the kids listening to songs with mature themes or words in them. I am not talking only about swear words but content that is not something a 7 or 10-year-old should be listening to. So I opt to go for the watered down versions like the songs by Kids Bop. They take all the top hits and make the lyrics child appropriate. So it’s the same songs but kid friendly! My kids love it.
5- I don’t let them watch Disney channel because I saw one of the sitcom episodes where the plot was about two girls seeing who could kiss one boy first. Not okay in my book.
So if those things slap the label conservative on me then I guess I am.
Then there are the people who are surprised by how “Western” I am in certain things about my parenting. Most of the people who label my actions “Western” are Western themselves, and what they label as (quite condescendingly) are any good parenting traits I have. They assume that because I value early bedtime and healthy diet and love to encourage my children to read and put a high emphasis on being polite and respectful to all people, that I MUST have that from studying in London. Or from having a Western nanny when I was a child. To these people I tell them to look at my mother and grandmother and they can see where I learned how to  raise my children with values we already have.
I know I have gained a lot of parenting skills from books written by Western authors, but the common sense was there to begin with. I did need a book to tell me what fruits to put in my children’s morning shakes to get the healthiest option. And a book did help me learn how to help motivate my children with reward charts and such.
I have learned a lot from my little (large) collection of parenting books just as I have learned from how my grandmother raised her children into adulthood and how she respects their life and their decision and didn’t raise them to be extensions of herself but rather self-aware, resilient, independent human beings who also didn’t fit into any particular label.
I am personally uncomfortable with either label. Conservative because it is stifling and Western because it’s condescending. I am me. I have been influenced by my Islamic upbringing, my Bedouin grandmother, my British nanny, my hundreds and hundreds of books, my friends from different countries and religions and by life!
I think, because people seem to have a need to sort others out into neat groups, I will have to find a new label. Maybe “Islamic, Conservative, liberal, free-spirited, regimented, modern, temperamental, Arab, world mom”?
What do you think of the 5 points I listed earlier? Do you agree with them? Are you a “conservative” parent? Do you think you fit into a label?

 

This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Mama B from Saudi Arabia. She can be found writing at her blog, Ya Maamaa.

 

Photo credit to _nyem_who holds a Flickr Creative Commons Attribution license. 

Mama B (Saudi Arabia)

Mama B’s a young mother of four beautiful children who leave her speechless in both, good ways and bad. She has been married for 9 years and has lived in London twice in her life. The first time was before marriage (for 4 years) and then again after marriage and kid number 2 (for almost 2 years). She is settled now in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia (or as settled as one can be while renovating a house). Mama B loves writing and has been doing it since she could pick up a crayon. Then, for reasons beyond her comprehension, she did not study to become a writer, but instead took graphic design courses. Mama B writes about the challenges of raising children in this world, as it is, who are happy, confident, self reliant and productive without driving them (or herself) insane in the process. Mama B also sheds some light on the life of Saudi, Muslim children but does not claim to be the voice of all mothers or children in Saudi. Just her little "tribe." She has a huge, beautiful, loving family of brothers and sisters that make her feel like she wants to give her kids a huge, loving family of brothers and sisters, but then is snapped out of it by one of her three monkeys screaming “Ya Maamaa” (Ya being the arabic word for ‘hey’). You can find Mama B writing at her blog, Ya Maamaa . She's also on Twitter @YaMaamaa.

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ISRAEL:  Set Yourself Free

ISRAEL: Set Yourself Free

SetyourselffreeTonight is the first night of Passover, a Jewish holiday that commemorates the story of the Exodus when the Jews were freed from prolonged slavery in ancient Egypt.

On Passover (also called Pesach) we refrain from eating “chametz”. Chametz (leavening) is anything made from five types of grain and left to rise more than 18 minutes. So basically, the prelude to this holiday is crazy spring cleaning, getting rid of any chametz in the house before Passover starts, and not bringing anything not kosher for Passover into the house until after Passover. It also involves koshering your kitchen and making sure not to mix the “chametz” with the Passover stuff.

As you can imagine, the logistics are enough to cause anyone an ulcer. At least they are if you are not living alone, continue to work and have a family to feed and take care of while trying to get everything else done. Say the word Pesach to me and there is an immediate visceral reaction of stress.

The question I have been asking myself for years is why do we all tend to make things so much harder on ourselves than it really has to be. Passover is the holiday  that represents freedom yet way too many people feel like slaves in the weeks before Passover. A self imposed slavery. (more…)

Susie Newday (Israel)

Susie Newday is a happily-married American-born Israeli mother of five. She is an oncology nurse, blogger and avid amateur photographer. Most importantly, Susie is a happily married mother of five amazing kids from age 8-24 and soon to be a mother in law. (Which also makes her a chef, maid, tutor, chauffeur, launderer...) Susie's blog, New Day, New Lesson, is her attempt to help others and herself view the lessons life hands all of us in a positive light. She will also be the first to admit that blogging is great free therapy as well. Susie's hope for the world? Increasing kindness, tolerance and love. You can also follow her Facebook page New Day, New Lesson where she posts her unique photos with quotes as well as gift ideas.

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