UNITED KINGDOM: On Interplanetary Moms

UNITED KINGDOM: On Interplanetary Moms

alien headphonesI’m driving my daughters to school through a windswept city. The storm last night was long and loud and its effects are everywhere, from turned over bins to broken branches. The traffic is moving slowly.

On the radio, a presenter reads a list of bleak news headlines. Britain, with its large Muslim population, is still parsing the consequences of the Charlie Hebdo shooting in France. Ahead of May’s general election, the main UK political parties are making economic promises. Two climbers have scaled a 3,000ft mountain in America without aids.

The girls yawn – tired from a night of listening to roaring gales – and ask for pop music.

“I’m trying to listen,” I say. “I’m trying to figure out what to write about today.” “What do you mean?” asks Grace, who recently turned 13.

“I have to write an article for World Moms Blog. What do you think I should write about?”

“I think you should tell them that I’m 13,” says Grace.

From the back seat Betty, who is 5, says: “I think you should write – ‘Dear World Cup – ‘ “

“Not World Cup, you idiot!” interposes Grace, who at 13 takes offence often, now. “Don’t call her an idiot,” I tell her, and steer around a large chunk of tree on the road.

To Betty I explain:

“It’s not the World Cup, darling. It’s a website for World Mums to write about their lives.”

“Oh, okay,” says Betty. “Then you should write: ‘Dear World Mums – ‘”

“It’s not a letter!” splutters Grace, who by now a really rather indignant 13-year-old.

“Go on Betty,” I say.

Betty clears her throat and gives Grace a glare, then says, “I think you should write – ‘Dear World Mums, in all of your countries, the world is not just about your countries.’”

Grace opens her mouth to protest again. I shush her.

“- it’s also about lots of planets,” Betty continues. “For example, there’s Kewpicker – “

My eyes meet Grace’s. She mouths: “Jupiter.” “ – and there’s the Moon. And – there are all the stars,” Betty ends with a flourish.

“I see,” I say. “And what do you think is out there among all those planets?”

“Well, there’s aliens, and lots of dark, and lots of rocks,” answers Betty, ticking the answers off on her fingers. “And you have to be very careful not to take your space hat off, cos then you won’t be able to breathe.”

Grace sits up, interested now.

“I used to want to be an astronaut. But then I saw that film, Gravity, and thought – no way!”

“Really? Why?” “Because it was so scary! I realised how dangerous and difficult it is!”

“Yes,” I nod. “But she – the astronaut – still succeeded, didn’t she? How did that bit make you feel?”

“Well….” Grace scrunches up her face and considers. “It was cool that she was a woman. And I suppose it made me feel like it’s worth trying really hard. And that sometimes you have to see past how frightening and difficult things can be, and just keep going.”

There’s a moment’s silence in the car. I look at Grace and smile at her and she smiles back at me, and sits back in her chair, pleased with the thought. I can see her turning it over while we drive in silence for a few moments.

Then, from Betty: “Pleeeeeeeese can we have some songs now, Mummy?”

I turn the dial and a current favourite bursts out of the speakers, all horns and funky guitars and a silly, strutting lyrics. Immediately the girls both start singing along.

When it’s finished, Betty asks: “Do you think there’s music in space?”

What profound moments have come from your fun conversations with your kids?

This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Sophie Walker of the United Kingdom.

Sophie Walker (UK)

Writer, mother, runner: Sophie works for an international news agency and has written about economics, politics, trade, war, diplomacy and finance from datelines as diverse as Paris, Washington, Hong Kong, Kabul, Baghdad and Islamabad. She now lives in London with her husband, two daughters and two step-sons. Sophie's elder daughter Grace was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome several years ago. Grace is a bright, artistic girl who nonetheless struggles to fit into a world she often finds hard to understand. Sophie and Grace have come across great kindness but more often been shocked by how little people know and understand about autism and by how difficult it is to get Grace the help she needs. Sophie writes about Grace’s daily challenges, and those of the grueling training regimes she sets herself to run long-distance events in order to raise awareness and funds for Britain’s National Autistic Society so that Grace and children like her can blossom. Her book "Grace Under Pressure: Going The Distance as an Asperger's Mum" was published by Little, Brown (Piatkus) in 2012. Her blog is called Grace Under Pressure.

More Posts

UK: Interview with Michelle Pannell AKA Mummy from the Heart

UK: Interview with Michelle Pannell AKA Mummy from the Heart

me and kids July 14Hi all, I’m really pleased to have been invited to become a contributor to the World Moms Blog and I look forward to being able to share my British parenting perspective and getting to know you all. Mich x

Where in the world do you live? And, are you from there?
I currently live in East Sussex, which is in the South of England, a couple of hours from London. I have lived in England all my life and mostly in the south. I love it here as I live in the countryside and am surrounded by beautiful green fields but it is only a 20 minute drive to the nearest beach and I adore walking by the sea.

What language(s) do you speak?
Sadly I only speak English. When I was at school I found learning languages very difficult so I have never pursued a second language and this is something I regret.

When did you first become a mother (year/age)?
My son was born in October 2003 when I was 30 years old and then I had twin girls in July 2007 just before my 34th birthday. I am really glad I waited to have my children as it meant I was able to pursue a good career without any guilt about the hours I worked and I also don’t feel I missed out on any opportunities to travel and have carefree fun with my husband.

Are you a stay-at-home mom or do you work?
Last year we moved from a large town to live in the grounds of a large Christian conference centre in the countryside. I resigned from my job as a staff trainer at a university and now I undertake some freelance writing. In reality most of the work I do is unpaid and I enjoy volunteering for a local food bank, at my children’s school and also here at the conference centre where I live. I’m also passionate about campaigning and being an advocate for those living in poverty.

Why do you blog/write?
My blog started as a way to update my parents on the funny tales of life with my three children. Gradually I found more and more people reading my blog and then I realised I was bitten by the blogging bug and started to share more regularly and on diverse subjects. I also felt compelled to demonstrate that Christians are just regular people too and we live imperfect lives, so I try to tell the story of my life through the lens of an imperfect Christian mother of three. I’m known for being very honest and I blog about the good, the bad and even the ugly of my life and it is through this honesty I have connected with many people who have related to my posts on compulsive overeating, miscarriage and imperfect parenting.

What makes you unique as a mother?
Every mother is unique; I do not believe I am anything special. We all travel our own distinctive journey and for me it is following my instincts and the beliefs of my Christian faith that mean I parent the way I do. With blogging I always tell newbies to find their own voice and not to imitate and I believe the same is true of parenting. Each mother knows what is best for her child and she needs to stick to her beliefs and parent with kindness and consistency.

What do you view as the challenges of raising a child in today’s world?
As a 41-year-old mother today I am travelling a different path to the one my own mother trod. Never before has there been a time when there was such easy access to information, instant gratification and technology. Trying to ensure that my children are in-line with their peers without becoming old before their time or addicted to being online is a constant battle but one I think is worth fighting. Our move to the countryside last year has reminded my children of all the fun they can have by getting outdoors and playing together.

How did you find World Moms Blog?
In October this year I was privileged to attend the ONE #AYASummit in Washington, D.C. and there I met many inspirational women including Jennifer Burden, Cindy Changyit Levin and Nicole Melancon. After a few conversations it was clear that I had much in common with the values of World Moms Blog and Jennifer invited me to become a contributor. I’m super glad she did.

Welcome to the World Moms Blog Family, Michelle. We look forward to reading your posts.

Photo credit: Michelle Pannell.

Michelle Pannell

Michelle’s tales of everyday life and imperfect parenting of a 13-year-old boy and 9-year-old twin girls and her positive Christian outlook on life have made her name known in the UK parenting blogosphere. Her blog, Mummy from the Heart, has struck a chord with and is read by thousands of women across the world. Michelle loves life and enjoys keeping it simple. Time with her family, friends and God are what make her happiest, along with a spot of blogging and tweeting, too! Michelle readily left behind the corporate arena but draws on her 25 years of career experience from the fields of hotel, recruitment and HR management in her current voluntary roles at a school, Christian conference centre, night shelter and food bank. As a ONE ambassador, in 2012 Michelle was selected to travel on a delegation to Ethiopia with the organisation to report on global poverty and health. Then in 2014 she was invited to Washington, DC, where she attended the AYA Summit for girls and women worldwide. When asked about her ambassadorship with the ONE Campaign, she stated, "I feel humbled to be able to act as an advocate and campaigner for those living in poverty."

More Posts - Website

Follow Me:
TwitterFacebookPinterestGoogle PlusYouTube

UK: What We See, And How We Choose To See It

UK: What We See, And How We Choose To See It

dr-stella-ameyo-adadevohDo you know who Dr Stella Ameyo Adadevoh is?

Don’t worry. I hadn’t heard of her until just a day or two ago.

When I read about her, my first thought was how wonderful she was. My second was how glad I was of the opportunity to find out about her. My third: what a strange week of news.

It’s largely thanks to Dr Stella Ameyo Adadevoh that the World Health Organisation was able to announce recently that Nigeria – that chaotic, corruption-riddled country – was free of Ebola, the deadly virus currently killing thousands across west Africa in the worst outbreak of the disease known so far.

Dr Adadevoh was the doctor who took care of Patrick Sawyer. Sawyer was the Liberian man who brought Ebola to Nigeria. Nigeria had never had a case of Ebola before. Sawyer denied having had any contact with Ebola, despite his sister dying of the disease. He fought to get out of the hospital. His employers fought to have him discharged.

Adadevoh not only diagnosed a disease previously unseen in her country, but she resisted huge pressure to let it go, according to accounts from the doctors who worked with her.

She quarantined Sawyer – no small task, given his violent attempt to flee – “He pulled his intravenous (tubes) and spilled blood everywhere”, said one witness.  She rebutted accusations from the Liberian ambassador that she had kidnapped Sawyer. She contacted the authorities, and she got hospital staff the training and materials they needed to treat Sawyer safely.

Sadly Adadevoh herself contracted the virus and died on August 19, one of eight deaths in Nigeria from Ebola. Not long afterwards the Nigerian government released its National Honours list for this year. Adadevoh was not on it because, as a government spokesman explained, the awards are never given posthumously.

I’ve seen two stories this week about Dr Stella Adadevoh. She did a great thing, and died for it, and too few people noticed.

In contrast, I’ve seen at least twenty-two stories this week about Rene Zellweger, an actress who changed her face and prompted acres – and acres – of media coverage.

I have nothing against Zellweger. Indeed, I have a degree of (angry) sympathy. I recognise the pressure on actresses over forty who are looking for work.

But what a strange week of news, when a woman who has done so much was unseen by so many, and another woman was not just seen but ripped apart for being far too visible.

I’m a journalist by trade. I accept that much of this disparity is down to skewed ideas among major media outlets of what makes news.

But we too – by we I mean us women – bear a responsibility for the way in which women’s lives and achievements are reported. Too often we read and comment on the scandalous stories. Too often we’re boosting the click rates and thus telling those media outlets that yes we are interested in reading this stuff. We are perpetuating the myth that it’s ok to pass judgment on other women purely because of the way they look. We are contributing to the noise around the non-stories that is stopping us from hearing the real ones.

I want to read about more Stellas. Don’t you?

This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Sophie Walker of the United Kingdom.

Sophie Walker (UK)

Writer, mother, runner: Sophie works for an international news agency and has written about economics, politics, trade, war, diplomacy and finance from datelines as diverse as Paris, Washington, Hong Kong, Kabul, Baghdad and Islamabad. She now lives in London with her husband, two daughters and two step-sons. Sophie's elder daughter Grace was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome several years ago. Grace is a bright, artistic girl who nonetheless struggles to fit into a world she often finds hard to understand. Sophie and Grace have come across great kindness but more often been shocked by how little people know and understand about autism and by how difficult it is to get Grace the help she needs. Sophie writes about Grace’s daily challenges, and those of the grueling training regimes she sets herself to run long-distance events in order to raise awareness and funds for Britain’s National Autistic Society so that Grace and children like her can blossom. Her book "Grace Under Pressure: Going The Distance as an Asperger's Mum" was published by Little, Brown (Piatkus) in 2012. Her blog is called Grace Under Pressure.

More Posts

INDONESIA: Travels and Trade-offs

INDONESIA: Travels and Trade-offs

smallFrom the window, I can hear high-pitched giggles and the sound of wellington boots on garden path gravel.

My daughter is next door with her new neighbor friend, pretending that the garden shed is an animal rescue center and the backyard chickens are actually wild monkeys. My son is bouncing on a trampoline with the friend’s big sister and I can see their carefree bodies flying above the wheat fields, in the shadow of the village church.

It’s past their usual school-night bedtime, but the sun is still high and we’ve stopped keeping track of these things anyway. Evidence of the day’s activities is scattered on the grass: badminton birdies, a rainbow of half-finished loom band bracelets, a decorated cardboard lean-to and sticky signs of an earlier snail race.

Both kids return with dirty feet and ice cream on their faces and I’m pretty sure they forgot to wash their hands after petting the donkey across the road. But it’s okay. It’s the summer holidays in rural England and it feels like the stuff childhood is made of. The only catch is that it’s not where we live…

Life is a series of trade-offs.

Back in Jakarta, we’re on our way to school and my children want to know why we don’t live in England. “Well…because we live here”, I respond simply, feeling a sharp pang of guilt.  I go on to explain that day-to-day life in England would probably be different than the idyllic summer version. For example, instead of playing all day, they would have to go to school and soon the long sunny days would turn cold and wet.  “That’s okay!” they chirp, happily unconvinced.

Luckily the conversation shifts and together we watch the city float past our car window. The daily mosaic of life here is colorful, chaotic and always fascinating. We read shop signs, point out our favorite kaki lima food carts and compete to find the most interesting motorcycle cargo…from pallets of baby chicks to enormous balloon bundles.

We talk about their new school classes and where all the children are from, realizing that there are nearly as many nationalities as students. We think about where we might like to travel for their half-term break and marvel at how lucky we are to be so close to so many amazing destinations.

Life is a series of trade-offs.

Sometimes, I feel sad about the fact that our children are growing up so far away from their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. But then I am also reminded that since our family is both British and American, we will always be far from someone we love regardless of where we live. We do the best we can to stay connected and are grateful for the precious time we get to spend together.

Occasionally, I see photos of my friends’ frolicking children and feel a twinge of regret that my own kids are missing out on  the places and experiences I enjoyed as a child growing up in the US.

But then I examine my own assumptions…does their childhood need to resemble my own for it to be good? Of course not. My children may not learn to ski anytime soon, but they are seeing and doing so much more than I ever dreamed of at their age.

Life is a series of trade-offs.

I tell myself that we are lucky to enjoy the best of both worlds. But in reality, we can’t have it both ways.

This is the path we’ve chosen and there are limitations as well as benefits. Accepting these trade-offs brings a certain kind of relief and shifts the focus — emphasizing what we have instead of what we’re missing.

It’s a process, but I’m getting there.

How do you and your family balance life’s trade-offs? 

This is an original post for World Moms Blog by Shaula Bellour.

Photo Credit: ClairOverThereThis image holds a Flickr Creative Commons attribution license.

 

 

Shaula Bellour (Indonesia)

Shaula Bellour grew up in Redmond, Washington. She now lives in Jakarta, Indonesia with her British husband and 9-year old boy/girl twins. She has degrees in International Relations and Gender and Development and works as a consultant for the UN and non-governmental organizations. Shaula has lived and worked in the US, France, England, Kenya, Eritrea, Kosovo, Lebanon and Timor-Leste. She began writing for World Moms Network in 2010. She plans to eventually find her way back to the Pacific Northwest one day, but until then she’s enjoying living in the big wide world with her family.

More Posts

UNITED KINGDOM: What’s Really in That Women’s Magazine?

UNITED KINGDOM: What’s Really in That Women’s Magazine?

Magazine Stack

I made a mistake this week, and bought a Women’s Magazine.

I know, I know. I have only myself to blame. Turkeys voting for Christmas, and all that. I haven’t bought one for so long. I’ve been doing really well. But then. Oh then…

In my defence, it looked so – fun. So cheerful and chatty and colourful.There were healthy recipes inside, it said. And – I admit – my eye snagged on a headline about summer dresses.

So I picked it up. I was at the cash till. It only took a moment to grab it, bleep it, bag it. And before I knew it, I was driving home with it.

At home I unpacked everything else first, aware of the magazine in its untouched bag as much as if it was emitting a radioactive glow. I made myself work slowly – stacking the tins of beans straight, organising the refrigerator drawer. Then I called my children and gave them snacks, and sent them out into the garden to play.

After that, I made myself a cup of tea, as though I had nothing particular planned. And then – and only then – I took the magazine out of its wrapper, and sat down to read it.

The first couple of pages were harmless. Or at least, they were nothing I couldn’t handle. Adverts, mainly – twenty-somethings draped in overpriced clothes that could only look good on them. Nothing to see here. Then a couple of placements for age-defying face creams. I read a few lines, caught myself, and moved along again.

The next page provided an unexpected giggle: beneath the legend “Coolest hot-weather buys”, an exhortation to try the latest offering from a diamond company – some sort of twisty ring from just £1,950 ($3,320) each. I made a mental note to ask my husband what he thought when he got in from work, just for laughs.

The next few pages provided tidbits on shoes, celebrity tattoos, and the new King of Spain. I flipped faster, half-aware that my kids’ voices below the window had taken on the whine that suggested some immense unfairness was about to be brought inside and laid at my feet. Sort it out between you girls, I urged them mentally.

Then I turned the page and found an article on being skinny.

I tried to turn the page but I couldn’t. My eyes were fastened on the headline: The Disturbing Rise of the Triple Zero.

I read on.

Somewhere at the back of my mind, a protest went up: Damn it! Suckered again!

Still, I read on.

So disturbing was this new trend for extreme, extreme thinness that the magazine had devoted four pages and fifteen photographs to it, along with such insights as: “It’s no secret that stars can make headlines out of being scarily skinny” (Um, Q.E.D., I think.)

I read the whole article, wanting to stop the whole time. I felt like I was standing in front of my kitchen cupboard in the middle of the night with a jar of chocolate spread and a spoon. Stop it, I told myself. It’s not good for you and you know it. Also, it’s making you feel sick.

I could hear my girls coming inside now. I pictured them arming sweat off their foreheads and tugging off dirty sneakers; saw their strong young shoulders and sinewy legs. In front of me, female skeletons struck ghoulishly sexy poses while the text explained how new ‘skinny apps’ can slim photos for Instagram by five to 15 lbs.

I realised as I read that I was thinking back to my lunch, to my breakfast, to dinner the night before, computing how much I had eaten and how many calories it might have amounted to.

Then a hand landed on my shoulder and I jumped, guiltily.

“Mu-uuum,” Betty began, flushed and aggrieved. In the other room, Grace called out a preparatory defence: “I didn’t!”

I turned to my five-year old daughter while simultaneously turning the page of my magazine. She wasn’t fooled.

‘What’s that? What’s that? What are they doing?”

“Nothing.” (The line that never works.)

Betty grabbed the magazine and pulled, and my heart thudded with horror until I saw that on turning the page I had moved us along to a feature on – ha! – learning to be brave.

“What does it say?”

“It says how you can be brave.”

“Like fighting things that frighten you?”

“Something like that.”

“Cool.”

“Come on, let’s wash up for tea.”

Later, when the girls had gone to bed, I threw the magazine in the bin. I felt immediately braver. And healthier. And saner.

If only there was an app for that.

Thus is an original post by World Moms Blog contributor, Sophie Walker, of the United Kingdom.

Photo credit to Ian Mackenzie. This photo has a Creative Commons attribution license.

Sophie Walker (UK)

Writer, mother, runner: Sophie works for an international news agency and has written about economics, politics, trade, war, diplomacy and finance from datelines as diverse as Paris, Washington, Hong Kong, Kabul, Baghdad and Islamabad. She now lives in London with her husband, two daughters and two step-sons. Sophie's elder daughter Grace was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome several years ago. Grace is a bright, artistic girl who nonetheless struggles to fit into a world she often finds hard to understand. Sophie and Grace have come across great kindness but more often been shocked by how little people know and understand about autism and by how difficult it is to get Grace the help she needs. Sophie writes about Grace’s daily challenges, and those of the grueling training regimes she sets herself to run long-distance events in order to raise awareness and funds for Britain’s National Autistic Society so that Grace and children like her can blossom. Her book "Grace Under Pressure: Going The Distance as an Asperger's Mum" was published by Little, Brown (Piatkus) in 2012. Her blog is called Grace Under Pressure.

More Posts

FIFA World Cup 2014 – Who Do You Support?

FIFA World Cup 2014 – Who Do You Support?

This week, the World Moms were found discussing the FIFA World Cup 2014 football. Here is what they answered to the question –

Is your country playing the World Cup? If not, what team are you rooting for and why?

The kids in the favela in Recife talking about football

The kids in the favela in Recife talking about football

Jennifer Burden of New Jersey, USA says: When it comes to the Olympics, I am Team USA all the way!!! But the World Cup is a little different for me. I root for USA and England because my husband grew up watching England play and our family in the UK is involved with the FA there. It’s both a country and a family thing for me and my kids!

Sophia of Florida, USA says:  This is very nationalist of me or … continental of me, but I go for any African country. I think this year the World Cup should have told Brazil police they need to stop killing children from the favela & as they have continued, the World Cup either needs to bring it up in mass conversation whilst there, or not hold the event there at all.

Check these news articles here and here.

Simona of South Africa says: Even though I live in South Africa, my husband and I are Italian and Italy is the only team I REALLY support! If Italy isn’t playing I root for Spain (my mom-in-law was half Spanish) then South Africa (although their soccer playing is worse than the Italians playing rugby)!!

Hannah Ashton from United Kingdom says: I’m a dual UK/US citizen. I’m not massively into football but I like the World Cup games. I root for England first and USA second. If either of those teams win I would be very happy but very surprised!

Maman Aya of New York, USA says: We are USA fans all the way in this house, unless they don’t make it, then we root for the underdogs.

Karyn Van Der Zwet of New Zealand says: Not sure if we are or not. (You can probably tell how much I’m into it. )

TaraB of Washington, USA says: of I cheer for USA but will watch any match. My father is a huge soccer fan, and we always watched the World Cup. We made signs, decorated, and created special food even though it was just us in the basement. And when the USA hosted the Cup back in the 80’s or 90’s, my dad took each of us kids to a game. I saw Norway play Ireland in a 0-0 draw. It was still one of the most amazing experiences. The people from all over the world … the costumes … such fun!

K10K of Belgium says: Belgium is in, so we (mostly the kids) will be following and cheering! It’s like the entire country has gone mad!

Purnima of India says: I already wrote about it elaborately here. India is completely a cricket-crazy nation. In our household, (mostly my son) is supporting Brazil for reason known to himself. I am of course partial to Brazil myself, but I am happy to see the most talented team win.

Did you all catch our World Moms’ posts the past week about the World Cup? EcoZiva from Brazil wrote about it here and Purnima from India wrote about it here. Two different countries talking about it in two different ways.

What about you… Which country do you support for in this year’s World Cup?

This post has been compiled and edited by World Mom, Purnima of India. Photo credit to her.

– World Moms Blog

World Moms Blog

World Moms Blog is an award winning website which writes from over 30 countries on the topics of motherhood, culture, human rights and social good. Over 70 international contributors share their stories from around the globe, bonded by the common thread of motherhood and wanting a better world for their children. World Moms Blog was listed by Forbes Woman as one of the "Best 100 Websites for Women 2012 & 2013" and also called a "must read" by the NY Times Motherlode in 2013. Our Senior Editor in India, Purnima Ramakrishnan, was awarded the BlogHer International Activist Award in 2013.

More Posts