Ever since my son started school I always have these odd feelings when it comes to socializing with the other moms.
It was my mental block.
Being a single mom, I used to fear about what the other parents will think of me and my boy. The school has been nothing but supportive and treat my boy no differently than his other friends who comes from a whole unit family.
Yes, my boy has his challenges in school.
My beautiful boy, who is a sensitive child, whose mom is quite outgoing, turns out to be shy. He sometimes has difficulty in social settings. It took him awhile to warms up to new situations and surroundings.
Maybe it was growing up alone. I raised him alone with his father without any family help or nanny until he was almost 2 years old. He had no friends around his age to play with until he started school. There were a lot of factors, yet, we are working on this together as a family. Maybe it was being an only grandson for years and having a dotting loving grandma who defends him like he’s a little king?
Yet I know he’s a loving sweet boy with a gentle soul.
When he was in per-Kindergarten and Kindergarten I did not socialize at all with the other parents from his school. Yes, I’d smile and say hi when we met at school’s events or functions but other than that I kept to myself.
I was afraid I would be judged for being a single mom.
I stood awkwardly alone in every single school events while the other kids had both their parents around. Sometimes I felt like I was wearing a big sign on my back that screamed out my status. I hate using the “I’m-a-single-mom” card unless it’s absolutely necessary. The school knew my status from day one, but not many of the other parents have known. They might eventually figure it out.
Now that my son is in the first grade, things are changing.
I have been a single mom for close to 4 years now, and I no longer feel ashamed of being one. I began to relax a bit and not really care about what other people thinks of being a divorcee.
Although I couldn’t be actively involved in school as much as I’d like to due to being a full time working mom, I am so grateful for these awesome homeroom moms.
For special moms who volunteer in school.
Here’s an ode to you lovely homeroom moms:
- Thank you for being our ‘representative’ while we working mom have to work long hours.
- Thank you for being our ‘voices’ to the homeroom teacher, assistant, and even the principal.
- Thank you for passing on to us information that sometimes was missed from the school’s communication book.
- Thank you for coordinating the costumes for our children’s school play.
- Thank you for helping individual kids who sometimes struggle alone and would be missed by the teacher or assistant because they are shy – just like my little boy.
- Thank you for the solidarity in watching and keep an eye on all our children there.
- Thank you for snapping pictures of school events and sharing them with us moms who couldn’t be there.
- Thank you for arranging a car pool.
- Thank you for devoting your time for our children.
- Thank you for being the wonderful ladies that you are.
This year, I am so grateful for these beautiful soul moms who have welcomed me warmly into the group.
Are you a homeroom mom? Are you actively involved in your children’s school?
This is an original post for World Moms Blog by Maureen of Scoops of Joy.
Photo credit to the author.
I don’t know what it’s like where you live, but in South Africa the “odd ones out” are parents who stay together! Easily 90% of the children in my daughter’s class come from “broken” homes of one type or another. Some of them have step-parents, some of them have contact with the “non-custodial” parent, some have lost a parent altogether and there are even some who don’t know their biological parent at all!
I feel very blessed to have had the chance to volunteer at my children’s Primary School (as school librarian and PTA mom) and (to a slightly lesser extent) when they went to High School too … until they told me that they’d rather I backed off! Yes, it IS possible to be TOO involved! 🙂
Interesting to learn about the differences, Simona. Here, my son is the only boy in class who comes from a divorced family.
How lovely for you to be able to volunteer at your children’s school. 😀
I haven’t had the chance to volunteer, though I’d like to. Unfortunately I’d have to take a sick or vacation day at work just to do it. I am grateful for the parents who can help out in the classroom. My son’s class has a teaching team (2 teachers) and even they need help teaching 36 (!!!) first graders. I appreciate their help, even if I am slightly jealous. 😉
My son actually asked me why I don’t come work in his classroom like the “other moms”. I felt a little guilty, but then just explained that we have a different situation than they do. Not better, not worse. Just different. And we embrace it.
I totally can relate, Roxanne! My boy also asked me the same question too and even offered me his tooth fairy money “So you don’t have to work anymore, Mommy” and my heart broke but I explained to him I have to work. This has been quite a journey and I finally am comfortable in being ‘different’. Thank you for sharing your story too 🙂
Maureen, this is beautiful. And never by shy for being divorced. You and your life are just as important as anyone else in the room — always remember that — so, who cares what people thing! Your World Moms have got your back!!!
I think helping out goes in waves. I didn’t have the time to take a leadership role in my local MOMS club with all the work I was doing for WMB, so I helped out when I could by hosting some events, volunteering to drop things off and just participating when I could. I helped run one of their evening charity events, too. Now I’m volunteering to coach girls basketball for 1st and 2nd grade girls. I think we all do what we can, when we can. And, I agree, I’m so thankful for the moms who volunteer when I can’t!! We all make the world go ’round… 🙂
Jen 🙂
Jen, you know I love you but your words put tears in my eyes. Thank you! I can finally be more relaxed about being a single mom and not worrying so much to be the ‘different’ one and the other moms has been really sweet and welcoming so it helps a lot.
I love that! “Helping out goes in waves” Truly, I wish I could be more involve but for now I can’t.
You are an inspiration to many of us, please remember that 😀
This is the truth – I was recently thinking how I want to write a post that honors working moms and single moms! I am at home with my kids and volunteer a ton at my sons’ schools. I am very involved and visible, and I am grateful to be able to do this. I have gotten to know some moms who cannot volunteer because they work. There is one mom who is a single mom with 2 kids and now her mom with failing health is living with them. She is busting it all the time. I helped her out this past weekend getting her son (my son’s classmate) to and from a birthday party. She was so thankful and praised me to no end for being a great mom. But from where I was standing, she is the one who deserves the praise. She is keeping it all together and giving everything she has to get her two awesome, brilliant kids through an accelerated school program while also working full time and caring for her mother. She had to pull together a complicated schedule with back up support to make sure her kids got to do the stuff they wanted to do….so they wouldn’t miss out. I am in awe of what she and other working moms do. And I am in awe of you too, Maureen! Thank you for praising the classroom moms, and this is one classroom mom who salutes you right back 😉