As I sit here watching the U.S. Olympic team trials, I am thinking about all the work these hopefuls have put into getting to this amazing place. They are all so young; the gymnasts are 16…mere children! Two of the swimmers competing for the “women’s” 50-free are 14 and 15. Michael Phelps is considered mature – he’s 27!
I smile as a swimmer jumps out of the pool and runs over to hug her mother as she makes the U.S. team. I choke up as the camera pans to a very proud mom who watches her daughter do an amazing floor routine, which seals her fate as a competitor to represent the U.S. in London. As the commercial says, none of them could have gotten to this place without their mothers. It was probably their mom who ran them to the early morning and after school practices, who hugged them when they didn’t win and encouraged them to just do their best. It was their mom who celebrated their victories (I’m sure there were many) as they progressed to get to this amazing point in their career.
I sit here wondering if I would be able to do that for my children. How do you even start your child on the road to be an Olympic hopeful? In New York City, there are so many sports available to children starting at such a young age. My son, who is 5, has already tried soccer, gymnastics, t-ball, and swimming. He has taken guitar and language lessons, art and music. When he starts Kindergarden in September, he will add martial arts to the list. I keep asking him if he wants to keep doing a certain sport, or try a new one, and inevitably his answer (for the most part) is to try a new one.
They showed some videos of the gymnasts doing routines as 5- and 6-year-olds, which means at my son’s age they were already on the road to the Olympics. I’m not capable of being a mom that “pushes” her children, but how else could they become the best in the world?
Don’t get me wrong. I would be that mom who takes her children to all of the practices, early morning and in the evenings. I would be the one who would console a loss and praise a win, who would mend an injury and be the biggest cheerleader on the sidelines. I just don’t know if I would be able to identify that my child was so gifted in a specific sport that they should seriously compete.
When my son was 3, we joked that he would be the next Michael Phelps. He loved his swim classes, and had a long and lean body. But being in New York, with cold winters, we did not continue his lessons once it got cold out. One thing led to another, and we haven’t really started them up again. I now ask myself, did we miss his chance to realize his full potential?
Now, I’m not expecting my children to make it to the Olympics. What I am asking, is what if there is a sport or activity (dance, a musical instrument, chess club, etc) that they are naturally gifted at, and, as a mother I don’t come across it? How do we, as parents, nurture our children to their full potential if we don’t figure it out?
I know enough to realize that I don’t have the answer. I want to be able to help my children find their natural abilities; I want them to try everything until they find something that they really love. And then I hope that I will be able to keep sending them to lessons/practice/rehearsals. I hope that I can help them be the best that they can be, and help them reach for the stars…if that’s what they want to do.
Have you noticed a natural ability/talent in your child? How have you nourished and supported them?
This is an original post for World Moms Blog by Maman Aya of New York City, USA.
Photo credit to Andrew Evans. This photo holds a Flickr Creative Commons attribution license.
You don’t need to push. There’s a For Better Or For Worse strip where Elly (the mother) is telling her father how much she regrets letting her kids give up their music lessons. She says that she was just so tired of fighting with them and nagging them to practice. She worries that by letting them give up, she failed to push them to their full potential. She asks, “how do you know when they have a real talent?” and her father replies, “when you have to nag them to stop.” And that’s totally the truth. My husband’s family is very athletic. Most of my nieces and nephews are in track and field. But only one of them HAS IT. This one nephew has shattered the record at every shot put and discus even he has attended. He practices constantly. When he went to the States on a family vacation, he sought out a high school and got the use of their field so he could STILL PRACTICE. He chose his university based on the availability of olympic-quality coaches. He has his eye on Rio next summer Olympics and the whole family knows that he can do it. And on top of that, he insisted on being in all kinds of other sports in High School. It drove the family nuts that he wanted to play Football, knowing that one football injury could ruin his whole planned Olympic career, but he did it anyway (and didn’t get injured!). We couldn’t stop him.When they have it, they know, and they do it themselves. If my son wants to play a sport, I’ll help him every way I can. But I know that if he’s true Olympic material, he’ll get there. In order to practice with the dedication that is required to hit Olympic level, they have to want it deep in their soul – you can see that on the screen when you watch their faces. If he has no interest in a certain sport, he’ll never be an Olympian, because you have to LOVE it.
This is a great post, Maman Aya. I do wonder the same — what if there’s something that my child is naturally good at that we all just don’t know about? I think the best thing to do is to keep introducing kids to new things. And it’s not so much what they are good at — it is all about what they enjoy doing. I do my best to help my daughters discover what they like. I hope they continue to do that for themselves into the future!
That is the question… I don’t want to overwhelm them, but I don’t want them to miss out of finding what they enjoy. Good point on them continuing it for themselves in the future, Jen. 🙂
I think this often – how do we balance the push and pull of wanting the best for our children and letting them let us know what’s best for them? I’m still trying to find this balance. Luckily for me, my kids are still young 🙂
Hopefully they don’t grow up too fast before we figure it out Alison – lol! Thanks for stopping by!
Wow – good luck for your nephew and thanks for the very wise words of advice!