For this week’s Saturday Sidebar, our writers were asked,
“Do you co-sleep or have your child(ren) sleep in their own room? If they sleep in their own room, did you do this from the start?”
Check out what some of our World Moms had to say…
Multitasking Mumma of Ontario, Canada writes:
“We co-slept when my daughter was an infant because it was easier for feedings. Now that she’s almost two she starts out in her own bed and comes in during the middle of the night. I don’t mind one bit because I know that time is fleeting and I won’t get these moments back.”
Ms. V of South Korea writes:
“We co-slept from the beginning. From birth to 8 weeks he was in our bed between us. At 8 weeks we transitioned him into a bassinet next to our bed. Once he started going to bed consistently between 6:30pm and 7pm, which was at about 16 weeks, we started putting him down in his own room so that we would still be able to get in and out of our bedroom without risking waking him. Then when we would go to bed, we’d bring him in with us.
At about 5 ½ months, we tried putting him back down in his own bed after he woke up for his first night feeding, and he did just fine, but I was a wreck! I love co-sleeping because I can hear him and respond quickly. When he’s in another room, even with the monitor, I find I am more restless and end up checking on him more often than I would if we were co-sleeping. Recently (he’s 8 months now) we’ve been putting him down in his own room for the night. When he wakes up for nighttime feedings, I feed him, and put him back in his own bed, until he wakes up for his dawn feeding, at which point I feed him and he snuggles in bed with us until we wake up around 7. I also cherish these moments. They grow so fast and it won’t be long before the idea of sleeping in our bed will lose all appeal. Needless to say, I’m a big fan of co-sleeping. For our family it has worked great.”
Mamma Simona of South Africa writes:
“My first was born in summer. He slept in a bassinet next to our bed for the first 3 months. Then he was in a cot in our room until he was a year old. He was moved to his own room after that. My daughter was born in winter and she slept in my bed for as long as I was still breastfeeding at night. I highly recommend it! Neither she nor the rest of the family lost any sleep as I’d latch her on at her first niggle and change breasts at the next niggle! I don’t know if its temperament or due to the co-sleeping (or a combination of both) but my daughter has always been way more secure, outgoing and self-confident than my son. My kids are both teens now and I do miss those special “cuddle times” when the rest of the world was asleep!”
Dee Harlow of Virginia, USA writes:
“We have never co-slept with our 2yo twins from the start. They had their own rooms and they have always been great sleepers, staying on schedule even throughout changes from three naps a day, down to two and now one. They even stayed on schedule during house moves and frequent travel. They’ve always napped at the same time and slept at the same time each night. We are truly blessed in the sleep department with 12+ hours at night and a solid nap. I know that I’ve missed out not snuggling with them through the night – a motherhood experience I’ll never have now and it was difficult when I was breastfeeding, but my husband and I are eternally grateful to not have sleep issues, especially with two. We also never used monitors, which I believe made it easier for us to give our children the chance to self sooth.”
Asta Burrows of Norway writes:
“My wee lad slept in his own bed from the beginning. First in our room (to make it easier for me to feed him at night), but once he started sleeping through the night at 4 months old he went straight in to his own room.”
Jennifer Burden of New Jersey, USA writes:
“I’ve read so much about the benefits of co-sleeping. I just couldn’t sleep with the baby in the bed, and either could my husband. It didn’t go very well! As my first daughter got older, and we had periods of her climbing into our bed when she was sick, our sleep really struggled. So, when she was back to healthy, we wound up keeping the kids in their own beds, so we could be better, well-rested parents.
My hope is that when my younger one (just about to turn 1!) is older, that the two girls can share a bed, if they’d like to. If my older daughter had her way, they’d be sharing a bed now! I think sharing a bed will be fun for them. And, hopefully they can sleep!!”
MamaMzunga of Kenya writes:
“Oh I so badly wanted to co-sleep with my first. I loved the idea of being so close and of course not having to get out of the bed to nurse. Like a lot of you, I also read a lot about the benefits and how it’s really anomolous gloabally to sleep in different rooms.
All that said (best laid plans…), I am a very light sleeper prone to insomnia and Caleb was an incredibly noisy sleeper. So, it was a bit of a disaster and we abandoned the effort after only about a month.
With this one co-sleeping has been much better (but it’s only day 9!). I’m calmer and I’m using ear plug so that I miss the random cooing but become awake when he really needs me.
Related: I do feel self-conscious here with the idea of putting a baby in another room since my Kenyan friends and colleagues think it’s strange and maybe even cruel (same for “letting the baby cry it out”). Does anyone feel the same way?”
Kyla P’an of Massachusetts, USA writes:
“I never co-slept with our first child but she did live in a bassinet, then Pack ‘n Play, beside us for the first 5 months of her life. With our second, who is a much more clingy child, we did the same until 6 months, then moved him into a room with his sister where they’ve co-slept (in separate beds) for 2.5 years.
I have many friends who suffer through restless nights in beds too small to accommodate an entire family. I am really happy neither of our kids have ever gotten into bed with us at night though I do wish they’d sleep together once in a while as I also have several friends with same gender kids, who end up sharing beds every night and I think it’s incredibly tender. I wonder why mine never do.”
Hamakkomommy of Japan writes:
“Co-sleeping is the norm here in Japan and doing otherwise is viewed as cruel. We have two large futons in our bedroom. My daughter always sleeps with me; my son varies between sleeping with me or with dad.
Most parents wait until their children decide they are ready for their own room. Most kids under ten sleep in a room with their mom, though often dad sleeps in a different room. His sleep is viewed as being more important.
In a disaster prone country, moms want their children close at night. Plus there is no central heating, so more people under the blankies equals a warmer winter night for everyone.”
What about you…have you ever co-slept with your child(ren)?
And do you have a question you would like to pose to our WMB writers? If so, email us at wmbsidebareditor@gmail.com to see what they have to say.
Don’t forget to visit us tomorrow to check out the travel itinerary for next week!
– World Moms Blog
Photo credit to Hobo Mama http://www.flickr.com/photos/44068064@N04/5429858871/. This photo has a creative commons attribute license.
I initially thought it odd to bedshare, but eventually ended up bedsharing full time for six and a half years! It’s pretty unusual in white families in NZ (or maybe well hidden).
We had two queen sized beds crammed together (took up the whole room) and ended up with five of us all together. Certainly much easier with feeding and when the boys were sick or scared. They all have their own beds now, but our two and a half year old regularly spends nights with Craig and I, and we’re not against the others sleeping with us either. It did take time to get used to – our eldest kicked for six months and the second one fed constantly for almost four years. I couldn’t sleep with very small babies (they were in a bassinet right next to me) as I was too scared I would roll on them (younger two) but as soon as they could lift their heads themselves – they were there.
Certainly now think that not bedsharing is cruel and that it would be great to be able to give Mums and Dads the support they need to do it – safely.
Thanks for sharing Karen!
I was going to write a post about this topic :-). Since the day both of my children were born (even in the hospital) I co-slept with them, for purely selfish reasons (I am such a light sleeper and once I wake up in the night it takes me an hour to fall back asleep). I would lay them to bed in their bassinet/crib next to me and when they would wake up for their nighttime feeding they would come into my bed and nurse happily. We put our son into his own room when he was about a year old, but he would join us for his early morning nursing until he was weened (about a year and a half) and then have his bottle in bed cuddling with us for quite a while afterwards. He still joins me in bed on nights when he doesnt feel well or has a bad dream. My daughter (who is 20 months) is still in our room with us and comes into our bed when she gets up for her early morning nursing. Some nights both kids end up in my bed and either I, or my husband end up on the couch, we call it musical beds :-). I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared of my husband rolling over onto the baby at first (I don’t actually move once I’m asleep) so I slept with my arm around them to protect them from that, but I have loved (and still do) co-sleeping and couldn’t imagine it any other way!
Ha – musical beds – we play that game in our apartment too! I have loved co-sleeping too Maman Aya – there’s just something so special about it.
Nikki from NJ
Our son is almost 4 years old and is still sleeping with us. He slept in our bed since day one, which was not the plan at all. Before having children, I couldn’t understand how some of my mommy friends would allow their kid(s) in their bed. But our son cried when we tried to keep him in a bassinet. Then we tried keeping him in his carseat next to our bed(this was his doctor’s advice to us, so we tried it!) but he just cried and cried. He only stopped when I spooned him in our bed. He instantly got calm and fell asleep for hours. We tried it the next night and same thing, he slept soundly, and for more hours than I thought an infant would sleep! It was great. I continued to spoon him so that my husband wouldn’t accidentally roll over on him.
We enjoy co-sleeping and my son has never had sleep issues. He sleeps consistently about 11-12 hours a night now. The only thing is that we really need to get a King size bed at this point!
Hi Nikki – Similar to you, I too could not understand how some mommy friends would let their kids sleep in their beds…..until we did it – LOL! Until the girls started sleeping in their own beds the whole night through, it was the best way for sleep deprived parents to get restful, peaceful sleep. 🙂
Have always done co sleeping. I think it’s good for them but honestly I AM EXAUSTED. lol
Jen, I understand – it can be hard if the parents are light sleepers or if the child is a kicker, constant mover, etc. With both of mine, they were movers and kickers in their sleep until they were about 1 1/2 – 2 yo!
yes, i co-slept with all four of my kids, and am grateful for that time with them now that they are all preschoolers and older 😉
Frelle – you’re so right. My oldest is in kindergarten and she has been sleeping in her own bed for a while now, but sometimes I lay down with her in her bed at bedtime because I miss snuggling with my big girl!
I thought I responded, but it isn’t showing up, so here goes. 🙂
Yes, we co-slept with both of our kids and loved it. I couldn’t imagine it any other way. It felt natural to me and reading the benefits of it just confirmed that what was in my heart was the right thing for us to do. It isn’t one size fits all and I know many great parents and kids who always slept apart. I think the decision to do it really depends on the parents and the temperament of the baby. For us, co-sleeping worked and I would do again.
Maggie, I totally agree. You have to do what works best for you and your kids. It worked for us too, and I too would do it again 🙂
I too co-sleeping with my boy since we are living with my parents and there’s just not enough room in the house for him to have his own. Hopefully soon this will change 🙂
I think going back to Frelle’s point, enjoy it while you have that time Tatter Scoops…before you know it, your little boy will be a big boy!